Being Elizabeth
by EGB Fan
Summary: Dr Sam Beckett leaps into Beth Rivera, and must find a way to stop someone close to her from ruining his life.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **Though the _Ghostbusters_ portion of this story was primarily inspired by _Extreme Ghostbusters_ (hence the title tag), please be aware that the continuity is based on the new IDW comic book series. The date I've used has been borrowed from Fritz Baugh's timeline based on the series (and on other things that don't factor into this story), so thanks to you, Fritz, and to those bringing us the IDW series.

_Extreme Ghostbusters/Quantum Leap: _**Being Elizabeth**

Part 1

It was a typical family kitchen in which Dr Sam Beckett found himself holding a tea towel under a fast-running cold tap. Behind him, he heard two men engaged in a heated argument. Looking over his shoulder, the first thing Sam saw was a flaming frying pan on the stove. His eyes widened.

'Oh boy,' he said.

**September 19, 1992**

Without further delay, Sam threw his wet tea towel over the pan, and the fire went out without a fight. He glanced at the knobs on the stove, and saw that the gas had already been turned off. Then he turned to face the bickering men.

'Why does everything have to be my fault?' said the smaller and clearly younger of the two, who had a goatee and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

'Because everything _is_ your fault!' said the larger one, who had a moustache and was wearing a police uniform. 'Every time you come down here, _something_ happens!'

'That is such -'

'Guys, come on,' said Sam. 'It was just a little frying pan fire, and it's out now, so let's just calm down, okay?'

'Fine by me,' said the younger man, glaring at the older. 'Sorry, Beth.'

He spoke with a clear Latin-American accent. Sam thought he had detected a similar lilt in the older man as well, but it wasn't as strong.

'What's going on?' asked a boy of about ten, as he appeared in the doorway.

'Nothing, son,' the older man said. 'Go and do your homework until someone calls you for dinner.'

'How long will that be?' asked the boy, looking doubtfully at the stove.

'Well,' said Sam, turning and staring down at a pan of cold, rapidly congealing sauce, 'it looks like I've ruined dinner, so why don't you go and order a pizza?'

'Hey, cool!' said the boy, and he turned and ran from the room.

'See what happens when you distract her?' said the older man. 'I don't pay for that food for you to ruin it!'

'Hey,' said Sam, taking a step forward. '_I_ ruined the food, okay? And… now I'm going to clean it up. And I do have a name,' he added.

'Sorry, Beth,' said the older man, his tone softening.

Sam turned and began moving the pans off the stove. The older man left.

'Let me help you,' said the younger man. He grabbed the pan of sauce and a large spatula, and took them to the bin.

'Thanks…'

'Eduardo.' Al Calavicci had appeared, and was smoking a cigar a few inches to Sam's left.

'Eduardo,' Sam repeated.

'No problem,' said Eduardo.

'But you don't have to,' said Sam, glancing at Al. 'Why don't you go and, um…'

'What,' said Eduardo, 'make small talk with Carlos?'

'Maybe you could try talking out your problems,' said Sam. 'I think we'd all feel a lot better if you two could get along.'

'Talk out our problems while we're waiting for pizza?' Eduardo laughed mirthlessly. 'You're sweet, Beth, but it's not gonna happen.'

'You can't know that unless you try,' said Sam.

'Look, not today, okay?' said Eduardo.

Sam didn't know what else to say, and Eduardo clearly didn't want to talk, so Al took the opportunity to fill Sam in on some of the details.

'It's September nineteenth, nineteen ninety-two,' he said, 'and you're in Manhattan, New York City, New York. Your name's Elizabeth Rivera, and you've been married to Carl for twelve years. You used to work in payroll, but you gave it up when your son Kevin was born. Eduardo's your brother-in-law, who's just started his second year at college, and Ziggy says there's a ninety-three point seven percent chance that you're here to help him.'

'Here, I'll do that,' said Sam, shouldering Eduardo out of the way of the sink as he began trying to wash up the pans. 'Please just… go and relax. You're a guest.'

Eduardo looked at him, clearly confused. Sam returned the look with one of polite yet desperate insistence.

'Okay,' said Eduardo, and he went.

'He lives here,' said Al, 'in the apartment above the garage, like the Fonz.'

'So?' said Sam. 'He's still a guest down here. Why does he need help?'

'Well,' said Al, pulling his handlink out of his shirt pocket and jabbing at the buttons, which flashed and beeped in response. 'Because everyone else in this house is doing okay. In our time Carl's a sergeant, Kevin's an auxiliary cop, and Elizabeth -'

'Beth.'

'What? What about Beth?'

'That's what they call Elizabeth.'

'Oh. Oh, okay, Beth it is. You may be a woman again, Sam, but at least you got a good name.'

'And at least she wears pants,' said Sam. 'So what happens to her?'

'She goes back to school when Kevin starts high school, and now she's a qualified childcare professional. She takes care of the kids from a couple of local families during working hours. It seems like they're all happy enough. Eduardo, on the other hand, is about to step onto a slippery slope. His grades start to drop in the next couple of months, then he drops out of college and moves out, and he racks up a ton of debt which Ziggy says he'll never be able to pay off, especially since he can't stay in a job for more than a few weeks.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'I'm not surprised to hear that he moves out, if that's the way Carlos always treats him. They're brothers, right?'

'That's right,' said Al, still consulting his handlink. 'But call him Carl - that's what he goes by. Ziggy's not real happy about that - she had some trouble matching up his data. But she did it, and get this. The day before Eduardo drops out of college, he gets arrested by Carl.'

'Arrested by Carl? What for?'

'Um…' Al frowned down at his beeping and sputtering device. 'For resting… no, not resting… _resisting_… arrest. He's arrested for resisting arrest.'

'What?' said Sam. 'That's ridiculous. If he was resisting arrest, he must have been getting arrested to start off with, so what did he do?'

'There's no data on that. Whatever it was, nothing came of it. Eduardo was held at the station for a couple of hours, and then released without charge. Y'know, if that happened to me and I was living with the arresting officer, I think I'd move out too.'

'All right, so… maybe I just have to stop Carl from arresting Eduardo, and then he won't drop out of college and leave home.'

'No good, Sam,' said Al. 'Remember his grades start slipping _soon_, so there must be something wrong now, and anyway the arrest isn't going to happen until November. Unless you want to hang around here for eight weeks, we'll have to find another way.'

'Is that it?' said Sam. 'You can't give me anything more specific?'

'Not right now, but we'll get Ziggy to work on it. In the meantime, Sam, you'd better go see what you can do about keeping the peace. I'll see you later.'

Al pressed a button on his handlink, then stepped into the doorway that opened up behind him. With another push of the button, he was gone.

.-.-.

Pizza with the Riveras was an uncomfortable affair. Carl had insisted they eat in the dining room 'like a nice, normal family', yet no one spoke for a long time, and Eduardo and Carl kept glaring at each other across the table. Sam watched them timidly, while Kevin ignored them and worked way at his pizza.

'So, Eduardo,' Sam said at length. 'How are your new classes?'

'Fine,' said Eduardo.

'Fine!' said Carl, spraying Sam with half-chewed pepperoni and not even noticing. 'I can't understand why you're still wasting time and money in that stupid place.'

'Hold on a minute, Carl,' said Sam. 'College is not a stupid place, and if Eduardo's doing what he wants to do, then we should be supportive.'

'But he doesn't _know_ what he wants to do!' Carl said loudly, banging his fist on the table. 'He's just a waster!'

'I'm sure that isn't true,' said Sam. 'Now, let's all calm down and try to have -'

'Dad was a cop!' raged Carl, rising to his feet. 'I'm a cop! It's your one chance to make something of yourself!'

'Oh,' said Sam, 'that's not -'

'No, _your_ one chance, okay?' said Eduardo, also rising. 'I'm not like you, _or_ Dad.'

So saying, Eduardo turned and stalked from the room.

'Don't you walk away from me!' yelled Carl.

'Carl, for God's sake, sit down!' said Sam and, to his surprise, Carl did. 'Thank you. Kevin, why don't you go and finish that in front of the TV? There's not much point all of us sitting round the table now.'

'Okay, Mom,' said Kevin, seemingly unfazed. He gathered up a large proportion of the remaining food in his arms, and carried it out of the room.

'I guess he's used to it,' said Sam.

'I guess so,' said Carl, staring down at his lap.

'Carl, why would you want to force Eduardo to be your father?'

'Because what the hell else is he going to do? It's in his blood.'

'Carl, come on, he's a grown man. I think you should start being more supportive.'

'You think _what_?' said Carl. 'I don't take orders from you, Beth. He's _my_ brother, and I know what's best for him.'

'Clearly you don't,' said Sam, just as Al appeared in the corner of the room and beckoned to him. Sam got to his feet.

'Don't you walk out of here too!' said Carl.

'I don't take orders from you either, Carl.'

'Bathroom,' said Al, as Sam passed him.

.-.-.

By the time Sam found the bathroom, Al was there waiting. Sam took the opportunity to look into the mirror on the wall cabinet, and saw that Beth was a blue-eyed blonde.

'She's pretty cute, isn't she?' said Al. 'And she's real nice too. One of the friendliest people we ever had in the waiting room.'

'Why is someone like her married to a jerk like Carl?' Sam asked. 'You know, Al, it's one thing you telling me things were different in the fifties and sixties, but this is the nineties and Carl is _not_ a good guy.'

'I hear you, Sam,' said Al, 'but he probably has a good side. Most people do. Maybe you'll see it when you go to bed with him in a couple of hours.'

Sam scowled. 'Great. Hopefully I can avoid doing that more than once. What do I have to do to get out of here?'

'Ziggy says there's a ninety-one point eight percent chance you're here to patch things up between Eduardo and Carl,' said Al, 'but she couldn't come up with any scenarios. She did turn up some information that might help, though. Carl and Eduardo's father was killed in July nineteen eighty-five. He died in hospital of a gunshot wound inflicted during a store robbery. He was a -'

'A cop, I know,' said Sam. 'At dinner, Carl was going crazy saying that Eduardo should be a cop like their father. He also said that Eduardo doesn't know what it is he wants to do. I guess he could be right about that. If he is, then maybe I'm here to help Eduardo figure out where he's going in life. Do you have anything else?'

'Nothing that seems relevant,' said Al, again consulting his handlink. 'Nothing major seems to have happened to them apart from their father's death, and that's clearly had quite an impact. But listen, Sam - after we first talked, I got Ziggy to run a search on Beth Rivera. She's always down as Elizabeth officially, but Ziggy found one record that refers to her as Beth. Get this. Tomorrow, you're going to call the Ghostbusters.'

'What?' said Sam. 'No I'm not! There are no such things as ghosts, Al, and anyone who thinks that there are is silly.'

'Silly, huh?' said Al. 'Surely you know better than to be so narrow-minded, Sam. Remember the vampire? And the mummy? Oh, and not forgetting the aliens, of course. Then there was the Bermuda Triangle stuff, and do you remember when you leaped into a parapsychologist? Boy, did that leap freak me out…'

'Okay, fine,' said Sam. 'Ghosts, maybe - _just_ maybe - but Ghost_busters_? I've heard about these clowns. They say they use scientific methods to trap ghosts, but that just isn't possible because ghosts aren't scientifically proven.'

'According to the Ghostbusters they are. Maybe this Dr Egon Spengler character doesn't think much of your time travel theory, but anyway, that doesn't matter. In the original history, Beth called the Ghostbusters, so that's what you're going to have to do tomorrow.'

'Why do I _have_ to? If I don't, what's going to change?'

'Well,' said Al, 'imagine this. You don't call the Ghostbusters, and the ghost turns out to be an evil spirit that kills everyone in this house - including you, Sam. You, Carl, Eduardo and poor little Kevin. Then that sweet, kind, soft, blond mother is doomed to spend the rest of her life in the waiting room, while her only child lies rotting in his grave. Now, you wouldn't want that to happen, would you?'

'Of course not,' said Sam, 'but it isn't _going_ to happen.'

'How do you know?'

'Because it's the most far fetched notion I've ever heard you come out with, and that's saying something, Al. You have no idea what you're talking about. Or are you about to tell me you did ghostbusting in the orphanage, as well as everything else?'

'Don't be silly, Sam.' Al pressed the button to open the imaging chamber door. 'I'll be back here tomorrow to keep an eye on you. Twelve thirty-seven - that's when the call to the Ghostbusters came in.'

'Look,' said Sam, 'why don't you worry about the ghosts and let me get on with helping the _live_ people?'

'Bye, Sam.'

'Al?'

'What?'

'Do you know if I can talk to Eduardo alone tomorrow?'

'Well, let's see,' said Al, pressing some more buttons. 'Carl's name was down for the day shift on September twentieth ninety-two, and since it's a Sunday, Eduardo won't be going to any classes.'

'Perfect,' said Sam.

.-.-.

Early the next morning, Sam found himself cooking Carl's breakfast in a nightdress and slippers, while Carl was in the shower and Kevin was sleeping in.

'I hope you know how Carl likes his eggs,' said Al.

'He can have them however they turn out and like it,' said Sam. 'The guy's hopeless, Al! He just doesn't listen to anyone about anything! Does Ziggy know what to do with people like that?'

'Only if you do, Sam. You programmed her, remember. But listen, I have some more information for you.'

'Great. What is it?'

'According to Ziggy, your ghost is going to be found in Kevin's bedroom.'

'Not this again!'

'I thought maybe I should go up there and check it out,' said Al. He paused, then went on, 'Ghosts can't harm holograms, right? I guess it would definitely know I'm there. If animals and little kids can see me, then ghosts _must _be able to see me.'

'Al…'

'What?' said Carl, coming into the kitchen and making Sam almost drop his spatula.

'Al… have your breakfast ready in just a minute,' Sam said brightly.

'Thanks,' said Carl. He was holding a newspaper, which he shook out as he took his seat at the table.

'Do you have to read that?' asked Sam. 'I thought we could talk.'

'You sure can play the part of a wife, Sam,' said Al.

'About what?' asked Carl.

'Eduardo.'

'Beth, not this again…'

'What do you mean, again? You didn't want to talk last night. Look, Carl… I was thinking. If Eduardo were to -'

'Keep an eye on those eggs, Sam,' said Al, peering into Sam's frying pan. 'They're starting to look very poisonous.'

By the time the eggs got to Carl, they barely looked edible, but he ate them all the same and even expressed his thanks.

'I was just thinking,' Sam said, as he poured coffee for both of them, 'that maybe you'd feel better about Eduardo if he knew what he wanted to do. There are plenty of ways he can make something of himself, Carl. Maybe we can help him find the one that's best for him. All he needs is a little support from the people that love him.'

'Are you kidding?' said Carl. 'He doesn't want to doanything except slack off. You saw his grades last year - they were a joke!'

'Not all of them, Sam,' said Al.

'Not all of them,' said Sam. 'Carl, did it ever occur to you that the reason Eduardo disappoints you is because you expect him to?'

'What are you, a shrink now? You have to stop this, Beth.'

'I just want you to see that you have to let Eduardo find his own path in life.'

'That kid can barely find a matching pair of socks,' said Carl. 'I'm going to work.'

'Hey, no skin off my nose,' Al said to Carl's retreating form. 'What a nozzle. You were right about him, Sam.'

'Maybe I can make him listen if I make some progress with Eduardo today,' said Sam. 'What time is it - about eight thirty? I guess he's sleeping in, like Kevin. I'll bet Beth doesn't get to sleep in on weekends, whether Carl's working or not.'

'I'll bet you're right,' said Al. 'She probably does the laundry or something around now. You'd better hop to it, Sam.'

'You know,' Sam said, as he began to clear the table, 'I've been wondering, Al. Does Beth really want to be a housewife?'

'I guess so. She made that choice, Sam. There were plenty of housewives in the nineties, you know.'

'Oh, sure, I know that. I just thought that maybe she was doing what Carl expected of her. It sounds like she doesn't normally say what she thinks.'

'Well, maybe not where Eduardo's concerned,' said Al, 'but I don't think you need to worry about anything else. Remember, she's going to train in childcare in a couple of years - that sounds like a decision she'd make for herself.'

'Yeah, I guess,' said Sam. 'All right, so… I'll do the laundry and figure out what I'm going to say to Eduardo.'

.-.-.

'Sam, don't tell me you left a red sock in with the wash!'

'Don't be ridiculous, Al,' said Sam. He was in the utility room, crouching in front of the washing machine and staring at its contents. 'A red sock makes everything pink, not… veiny. Eugh. How am I going to get all this stuff clean?'

'Laundry on a Sunday?'

Sam jumped, bumped his head on the washing machine, then staggered to his full height saying, 'OW! Well, um, the hamper was full, so…'

As the pain in his head subsided, Sam saw that Eduardo was carrying a bag of clothing over his shoulder.

'But obviously I normally do _your_ laundry on a Sunday,' said Sam.

'No you don't,' said Eduardo. 'I do my own laundry. Are you feeling okay, Beth?'

'Sam!' said Al. 'I just looked at the clock on the VCR, and it's twelve twenty-seven. You have to make that call in ten minutes!'

'Shut up!'

'Sorry,' said Eduardo, taken aback. 'I didn't mean…'

'I'm sorry, Eduardo, I didn't mean you,' said Sam.

'Then who…? Never mind. Let me help you unload. Whoa!' Eduardo's eyes widened as he pulled a crimson-streaked white shirt out of the washing machine. 'What happened here?'

'I have no idea.'

They continued to unload the machine, and a little investigation turned up a red felt-tipped pen in one of Kevin's pockets.

'Bummer,' said Eduardo. 'And you're normally so careful.'

'Right,' said Sam. 'Good moms always go through the pockets before doing laundry, so the kids never bother to empty them. I remember that now.'

'Will this come out?' asked Eduardo, staring at the ink-smeared clothes. 'Or do we need to get it dry-cleaned or something?'

'Let's not worry about that now,' said Sam. 'You do your laundry, okay?'

'Are you sure?'

'Sure I'm sure.'

'Twelve thirty-three, Sam.'

'Al!'

'What?' said Eduardo, looking up from the washing machine with the greatest look of astonishment that Sam had ever seen on the face of someone who'd heard him talking to himself.

'I'll fix you some lunch,' said Sam, 'if you'll agree to have a conversation with me.'

'About what?' Eduardo asked warily.

'Your future.'

'Oh. You too, huh?'

'I just want you to be happy,' said Sam, 'and I know Carl doesn't make that easy for you. I'm not saying I think you should be a cop, because you obviously don't want to, but I thought that if you could figure out more or less what you _do_ want then Carl would be more understanding.'

'Are you kidding? Carlos has never understood me, or anyone who doesn't think exactly the same as he does.'

'Yeah, I kind of got that about him,' Sam said, hearing a slight thump overhead, and thinking nothing of it. 'But anyway, can we talk about it? I guess I should know how you're feeling right now. Payroll obviously wasn't my dream.'

Eduardo smiled at her. 'I don't think payroll is really anyone's _dream_, Beth.'

There was another thump.

'Sam, do you hear that?'

'I guess not,' said Sam, returning Eduardo's smile.

Another thump, louder this time.

'Man,' said Eduardo, 'what is Kevin _doing_ up there?'

'Sam,' said Al. 'Kevin's in the living room watching TV.'

'I know,' said Sam.

'Are you going to tell _me_?' asked Eduardo.

'He's watching TV,' said Sam. 'In the living room. So I guess that's…'

'It's a ghost, Sam!' said Al. 'And it's twelve thirty-six - you have to make that call in one minute!'

'Only by the Ghostbusters' clock,' Sam said quietly.

'What?' said Eduardo.

'I guess it's the pipes or something,' said Sam.

'Yeah?' said Eduardo, looking doubtful as there came another loud thump, followed by a sound as though the entire contents of the room were shaking. 'I don't know. Maybe we should go check it out.'

'Call the Ghostbusters, Sam!'

Sam sighed. 'I guess maybe we should.'

.-.-.

The disturbance in Kevin's room was being created by a small, shadowy, scurrying creature of some kind. Sam, Al and Eduardo all stood in the doorway, attempting to follow the thing with their eyes, but it was too fast for them to keep up.

'Maybe there's more than one,' said Sam.

'More than one what?' asked Eduardo.

'It's a rodent or something,' said Sam.

'Use your eyes, Sam!' said Al. 'That is clearly some kind of monster from the deepest, darkest depths of Hell!'

'Do we have any rat poison?' asked Sam.

'I don't know.' Eduardo ventured into the room and peered under Kevin's bed.

'Call the Ghostbusters, Sam!' said Al.

'I could swear it's under here,' said Eduardo, peering further under the bed.

'Be careful,' said Sam. 'A rat bite can cause all kinds of -'

'Whoa!'

Eduardo rose to his full height and started backing rapidly away from the shadow that was suddenly oozing like slime from under Kevin's bed.

'How do you explain that?' asked Al.

'Trick of the light?' Sam said uncertainly. 'Oh boy.'

'Call the Ghostbusters, Sam!'

'AAH!' Eduardo cried, as a finger of shadow rose from the ground and grabbed his ankle. Sam stepped into the room, wrapped his arms around Eduardo's torso and pulled as hard as he could. After battling the shadow for no more than a few seconds, Sam was able to pull Eduardo free, and they fell in a heap just outside the door.

'Thanks, Beth,' said Eduardo, kicking the door shut as he got to his feet.

'Sam…'

'All right,' said Sam, 'I'll call the Ghostbusters.'

'The Ghostbusters?' said Eduardo. 'Seriously?'

'Do you have a better idea?'

'I guess not.'

They both made their way downstairs and through the hallway. Sam stopped at the phone, while Eduardo carried on into the living room.

'What's their number?' asked Sam.

'Hold on, Sam, I'll check,' said Al, whipping out his handlink.

By the time Sam had dialled the Ghostbusters' number, he could see the shadow seeping over the top of the stairs.

'Oh boy,' he said, speaking over the woman who answered the phone.

'Ma'am?' said the woman. 'Can I help you?'

'Uh, yeah,' said Sam. 'We got a, um…'

'Shadow monster,' said Al. 'Hurry up, Sam!'

Sam explained himself as best he could, stopping only to wait for Al to tell him his own address. By the time he put down the phone, the shadow was making a grab at him between the slats of the banisters. Sam ran into the living room, where he found Eduardo and Kevin both on the sofa. Eduardo was sitting right on the edge, looking tense, while Kevin was leaning back and still enjoying the ice cream Sam had left him with.

'Have you really called the Ghostbusters?' Kevin asked.

'Yes,' said Sam. 'We have to get out of here - it's on the move.'

Eduardo got to his feet, and gently pulled Kevin up after him. Sam made a move towards the living room door.

'No good, Sam,' said Al. 'It's following you. You'll have to climb out the window.'

'It's following us,' said Sam, running to the window and pushing it open. 'We'll have to get out this way.'

'Aww, Mom, can't I look at it?' said Kevin.

'No you can't,' said Sam. 'In fact, you're going to be the first one out.'

Eduardo propelled Kevin across the room and began to bundle him through the window. Sam looked at the door, and saw that the shadow was rapidly approaching.

'Beth, come on!' said Eduardo.

Soon enough, all three were on the other side of the window, and the shadow was spreading across the living room floor. Al walked through the wall to join them, all the while pushing buttons on his handlink.

'Where do we go now?' asked Sam. 'It's going to follow us - we could lead it right down the street before the Ghostbusters get here!'

'Maybe we could hurt it with bright light or something,' said Kevin. 'You know, like in _He-Man_.'

'Well, the sun's pretty bright,' said Sam, 'so I guess it'll either come out or it won't. But let's not wait too long to find out.'

'Sam, the Ghostbusters won't be here for another eight minutes and twenty-six seconds,' said Al.

'Take Kevin before it gets here,' said Sam. 'I'll lead it to the back of the house.'

'Then what?' asked Eduardo.

'I'll think of something,' said Sam. 'Go on - take him!'

So saying, he gave Eduardo and Kevin both a violent shove away from the house. They both staggered to a halt, and before either of them could start to object, Sam saw that the shadow was near to the window and seemed to be heading towards him.

'Okay, Sam, head to the back of the house like you said,' Al told him. 'Ziggy says that thing should be about two and a half minutes getting back there at its current rate of movement.'

'How do you suppose Beth handled this originally?' asked Sam.

'Ziggy's data might tell us something about that,' said Al, tapping at his handlink. 'Oh, but wait - the Ghostbusters aren't going to find this thing in Kevin's bedroom, are they? I guess Beth just called them because she heard a sound, and the shadow monster didn't even realise there was anyone home.'

'She called the Ghostbusters without investigating first? How paranoid can you get?'

'I'm just guessing, Sam.'

'Well,' said Sam, still backing away from the shadow, 'I can't think of a better explanation. Okay, this is the back of the house - where now?'

'Hold on.' Al pushed a button, disappeared and then reappeared a moment later. 'Go along the wall and climb up the underneath of Eduardo's stairs.'

'_What_?'

'There's gaps between the steps, so you can get your hands and feet in there and pull yourself up. It's either that or taking it to see your neighbours.'

'Okay,' said Sam, backing towards the wall. 'If I take it up the stairs, where do I go from there?'

'Into the apartment.'

'Then where?'

'Further into the apartment.'

'This doesn't sound like a permanent solution, Al.'

'You got just under five minutes, Sam. By the time that thing corners you, the Ghostbusters will be here.'

'Are you sure about that?'

'Pretty sure. Of course, there's no accounting for Ziggy's margin of error.'

'Oh boy.' Sam groped above him for a grip on the metal staircase that ran up the side of the house, keeping his eyes on the shadow. 'This is, without a doubt, the stupidest leap I have ever been on. Not only do I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, but now I have to run away from a giant shadow monster!'

'Do you believe in it now?' asked Al, as Sam strained to pull himself up the wrong side of the metal stairs.

'I'm seeing it, Al,' said Sam, 'so I suppose I'd better believe it.'

It took all of his strength to heave himself over the railing at the top of the steps, but he made it, and as he dropped down on the other side he caught sight of Eduardo running towards him.

'Beth, what are you doing?' Eduardo called, wide-eyed with fear and, possibly, amazement at Beth's sudden display of upper body strength. 'It'll trap you up there!'

'Where's Kevin?' Sam called back.

'I left him with Mrs Makowsky.' He began to approach the staircase.

'Eduardo, stay away!'

Eduardo ignored this advice and stepped over the finger of shadow at the bottom of the stairs, which immediately reached up and grabbed him. Sam ran down the steps, pulled Eduardo free and then dragged him back upstairs and into the apartment just in time to slam the door on the advancing shadow. Of course, it began to snake in through the gap underneath, so Eduardo and Sam made their way together to the furthest corner of the room.

'Great, now we're both stuck up here,' said Sam. 'What exactly were you hoping to achieve?'

'This,' said Eduardo. 'I figure we stand more chance with two of us. That way we can, you know, pull each other around. I can't let anything happen to you, Beth.'

'Sam,' said Al, appearing in the middle of the room. 'The Ghostbusters will be here in two minutes exactly. One minute and fifty-eight seconds… one fifty-six… fifty-five…'

'There's no need to count down,' said Sam.

'Who's counting down?' asked Eduardo. 'Beth, I know it's none of my business, but I'm really starting to worry about you talking to yourself.'

'I'll go watch for the car,' said Al. 'I'm sure we should be able to hear the siren by now. What gives?'

'Sorry, Eduardo,' said Sam, as Al disappeared. 'I'm just… freaking out, I guess. But I know the Ghostbusters will be here soon.'

'It's getting closer,' said Eduardo, grabbing Sam's shoulders and pulling him towards the kitchenette in the opposite corner. 'We can probably put it off for a few seconds if we sit on the kitchen surface.'

'Hopefully a few seconds is all we'll need,' said Sam.

They waited until the shadow was only a few inches from their feet, and then sat on the kitchen surface and pulled their knees up to their chins. They were in this uncomfortable position when Al appeared in the room, his eyes glazed over in a way that Sam knew only too well.

'Sam, just you wait!' said Al. 'They sure didn't make Ghostbusters like that in my day, I can tell you!'

'What are you talking about?' said Sam.

'I'm not saying anything,' said Eduardo.

'Sorry,' said Sam. 'I just, um…'

'Whoa!'

In a split second, the shadow had a firm hold of Eduardo's ankle, and it had whisked him away before Sam was able to pull him free for a third time.

'Al, what do I do?' Sam asked, staring in helpless dismay as the screaming Eduardo began to disappear, legs first, as though being sucked into the darkness itself.

'Do not move, Sam,' said Al. 'The Ghostbusters -'

He was cut off as the door was kicked violently open and a small, dark-haired young woman wielding a nasty looking gun appeared on the threshold.

'You know, it wasn't locked,' Sam couldn't help saying.

'Sorry,' said the woman, not sounding as though she meant it. 'Look away, please, ma'am. For your own safety.'

Sam turned his head, and immediately the room was encased in a blinding light and filled with noise. Sam closed his eyes, but then could not resist opening one just enough to see the young woman dragging her beam of light - and the shadow with it - towards the door.

'Hey, you guys!' She leaned back and shouted down the stairs. 'There's a load more of it up here!'

As she began the tricky task of manoeuvring the shadow out of the door in her noisy light beam, Sam jumped down from the kitchen surface and went to Eduardo, who was kneeling on the floor and looking shaken.

'Was she something or what?' said Al, standing over Sam as he bent to Eduardo's aid. 'And you should see the other two out there. A tall, pouting brunette, and a fiery redhead with the most magnificent set of -'

'Al, shut up!' said Sam. 'Are you all right, Eduardo?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' said Eduardo.

'Sorry I couldn't grab you in time.'

'It's okay.'

'If I'd known, Sam, I'd have made you call them a lot sooner. I have to go get another look.'

'Al…'

With the press of a button, Al was gone. Sam shook his head resignedly, then helped Eduardo to his feet.

'Beth,' said Eduardo. 'You know I like to mind my own business, but I have to tell you, it really freaks me out that you keep saying my dad's name.'

'I do?' said Sam. 'Oh, I mean… I do, don't I? I'm sorry, Eduardo. I just… keep wondering what he'd say if I could ask him what to do about the two of you.'

'Who, me and Carlos? I know what Dad would say about that. He'd say you and me both should do what Carlos says.'

'You don't know that. You were just a kid when he died.'

'I know what he was like.'

'Of course, but maybe you don't realise that all he'd really want now is for both of you to be happy. I'm sure he'd be proud of -'

'Ma'am?' The dark-haired girl stuck her head in at the doorway. 'We're all done here, so maybe we could settle up whenever you're ready.'

'Oh, sure,' said Sam, frowning over the girl's shoulder at Al, who was seemingly floating by the staircase and taking in her back view. 'I'm on my way.'

'Me too,' said Eduardo. 'Thanks for the save.'

'It's my job,' said the girl.

'I was just trying to look after my sister-in-law here,' Eduardo added.

'Yeah?' The girl smirked. 'You weren't doing a very good job, Superman.'

'The name's Eduardo,' Eduardo said, 'and I was doing a great job. It was me instead of her getting eaten, wasn't it?'

'Absorbed,' said the girl. 'But why quibble? Whenever you're ready, Mrs Rivera.'

She made her way down the stairs, and Sam followed. Al pushed a button on his handlink, and appeared right in front of Sam the moment he reached the bottom of the staircase. Sam jumped and cried out in surprise, earning himself some odd looks from all three of the Ghostbusters Al had mentioned - and one he hadn't, who happened to be a man - and from Eduardo, who was now at the top of the stairs.

'See why we didn't hear the siren?' said Al, nodding in the direction of a tiny yellow car, into whose boot a male and a female Ghostbuster, both tall and dark-haired, were attempting to pack a great deal of complicated looking equipment.

'Hey!' said Kevin, running onto the scene from the house next door. 'You're not the Ghostbusters!'

'Kevin, be polite,' said Sam. 'Sorry. How much do I owe you?'

'Here.' The red-haired woman handed him a slip of paper.

'Thanks.'

Sam accepted the invoice with no idea of how much he should expect to be charged. The number that he saw made his eyes widen in shock.

'I'll get your chequebook,' Eduardo said soberly, reading over Sam's shoulder.

'Thanks,' said Sam. 'Hey, um… Al! AL! Psst!'

The Ghostbusters were staring at him again, and so was Mrs Macowsky, from her front window. Sam smiled sheepishly, then sidled over to where Al was trying to decide which female Ghostbuster he wanted to ogle at that particular moment.

'Will you stop?' Sam hissed. 'I need to see Beth's signature.'

'What?' Al came to his senses as though from a deep sleep. 'Oh. Okay, sure.'

As Al played around with his handlink, Eduardo reappeared with Beth's chequebook and a pen, which he handed to Sam.

'Thanks,' said Sam. 'Kevin, come here - let me lean on you.'

He wrote the cheque against Kevin's back, taking his time over the signature. Al held his handlink out to him, over Kevin's head, and Sam copied the untidy scribble on the screen as best he could.

'I'll say one thing, babe,' said Eduardo, smiling wryly at the woman who had saved his life. 'You sure aren't cheap.'

Al winced. 'Ouch.'

'The name's Kylie,' said the girl, scowling. Then she stalked away from him and got into the car.

'Thanks again,' said Sam, handing the cheque to the redhead. 'Ms, uh…'

'Melnitz.'

'Janine Melnitz,' said Al, consulting his handlink. 'She's been working for the Ghostbusters ever since they started. Officially she's the secretary. I wonder what she does after hours…'

'Thanks a lot, Ms Melnitz,' Sam said.

'Where are the _real_ Ghostbusters?' asked Kevin.

'Kevin!' said Sam.

'They're busy, kid,' said Janine. 'But we're just as real as them, I'll have you know. Have a nice day, Mrs Rivera.'

Janine climbed into the driver's seat of the car and began to belt up.

'You mustn't be so rude, Kevin,' said Sam.

'I didn't mean to,' said Kevin. 'I just wanted to meet the real Ghostbusters. That wasn't them - and the guy even looked like Inspector Gadget!'

'Kevin! Look, just try to be more tactful, okay? Go on back inside now.'

'Okay, Mom.'

'The kid's crazy,' said Al. 'They don't come more real than those three.'

'Al,' said Sam, seeing that Eduardo had vanished and Mrs Makowsky was no longer at her window. 'I wish you'd treat women with more respect - it's embarrassing!'

'For who? They don't know I'm there. Anyway, I do respect them. I appreciate the inner _and_ outer beauty.'

'And I don't feel right about forging Beth's signature either.'

'Hey, it's not like anyone's ever going to know. And don't feel bad on Beth's account - she was going to write that cheque anyway. Although I guess it might have been for a smaller amount, if that thing was confined to Kevin's room. I told you to call the Ghostbusters right away, didn't I?'

'It's not nice to say I told you so,' said Sam. 'And another thing. Why didn't you tell me their father's name was Al?'

'Was it?' Again, Al began pressing buttons on his handlink. 'Oh, right, his name was Alberto. I didn't know they called him Al. He's called Albert on some records, but never Al. Anyway, it doesn't matter, or at least it shouldn't. You ought to be more careful about talking to me in front of people.'

Sam's face filled with indignation. 'Well, if you didn't keep talking crazy while I'm with people…! Wait a minute. Albert? Really? I wonder why.'

'I guess for the same reason Carlos calls himself Carl.'

'Yeah, I guess so. Is that anything I need to worry about?'

'Oh, probably not,' said Al, with a dismissive wave of his cigar. 'I could get to like this leap, Sam. I'm starting to feel like I have a connection with these people. My name means something to them, and your name… Beth's name… means something to me.'

'Well,' said Sam, '_you_ might like it, but I just can't get my head around it. Now, let me think. I need to finish my conversation with Eduardo. I wonder where he went.'

'To do his laundry, maybe?'

Sam went inside, and Al zapped himself to the utility room. Eduardo's laundry was still waiting, while Sam's red-streaked load of whites was still half in the machine and half on the ground.

'Maybe you're just here to clean up this mess,' said Al.

'I _made_ this mess,' said Sam.

'I wasn't being serious,' said Al. 'But you'd better clean it up anyway, and do something about those shirts. Your husband will not be pleased, especially when he finds out how much money you spent today.'

.-.-.

Sam thought about not telling Carl that he had called the Ghostbusters, but then he decided it would be wrong to let Beth try to explain when their bank statement arrived, so he told him over dinner.

'Ghostbusters?' Carl bristled. 'In _my house_? What the hell were you thinking, Beth? They're dangerous criminals!'

'No they're not,' said Sam. 'We had a supernatural problem, and they dealt with it. Eduardo was almost killed, you know.'

'Where _is_ Uncle Eddie, anyway?' asked Kevin.

'I haven't seen him since the Ghostbusters were here,' said Sam. 'I'll take him some leftov- '

'We are not done talking about this, Beth!'

'Well, Carl, I don't know what else to say,' said Sam. 'We needed the Ghostbusters, so I called them, and there are plenty of witnesses who can tell you that your family was almost killed today.'

'Ask Mrs Makowsky,' said Kevin.

'Stay out of this, Kevin,' said Carl. 'I don't go out there risking my life night and day for you to throw my money at kooks, Beth!'

'It's _our_ money, Carl,' said Sam. 'I work just as hard as you do.'

'Yeah, I know you do,' said Carl. 'I'm sorry, Beth. It's just that I know those Ghostbusters are a bunch of con artists.'

'Well, it's done now,' said Sam. 'I can't go back in time and change it, so let's just forget it and enjoy our dinner, shall we?'

.-.-.

'We missed you tonight,' Sam said, standing at the top of Eduardo's stairs and handing a food-filled Tupperware box over the threshold.

'Sorry,' said Eduardo. 'I got a lot of work to do.'

'Well, your studies are important. How are you finding the work?'

'Some of it's good. Some of it's stupid. Sort of like life, I guess.'

'Yeah, I guess so.'

'See ya, Beth.'

'Oh… bye,' Sam said, as Eduardo shut the door.

.-.-.

The next morning, Sam had to drive Kevin to school. Al, his image locked in the back of the car, gave him directions provided by Ziggy.

'So,' said Sam, once he had dropped Kevin at the school gates, 'I'd better fill you in on everything that happened last night.'

Al pressed a button, and moved to front seat of the car.

'Shoot, Sam.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'Carl was pretty mad about me calling the Ghostbusters, and I couldn't help getting mad back. We're fighting an awful lot, Al. Am I going to make him divorce Beth or anything?'

'Not according to Ziggy,' said Al, tapping away at his handlink. 'But I'd try to avoid any more confrontation with Carl, just in case. I know that can't be easy with him.'

'Oh, I don't know,' said Sam. 'Sometimes I almost think he's not so bad. Apart from blowing up at me about the Ghostbusters, it just seems to be Eduardo that brings out the worst in him.'

'And vice-versa. That's a shame. When I was in the waiting room with Beth, she said that brothers shouldn't let their differences come between them, and she was probably right. Did you talk to Eduardo again?'

'No. He didn't show up for dinner, and when I took him some leftovers he didn't want to talk.'

They spent the rest of the journey having a circular conversation about what could possibly be done to bring an end to the leap. Then, as Sam was pulling into the garage underneath Eduardo's apartment, a new thought struck Al.

'He really seemed to like that girl yesterday,' he said.

'Which girl?' asked Sam.

'That gothic looking little Ghostbuster. Kylie.' Al pulled out his handlink and pushed some buttons. 'Griffin. When she's not being a Ghostbuster, she manages Ray's Occult Books, and she has a car that's due… a wormer in a couple of weeks. I guess that means cat. Oh, and his name is Pagan.'

'Whose - the cat's?'

'Yeah. She sounds kind of kooky to me, but Eduardo sure seemed to like her.'

'She'd come and gone in five minutes, Al,' said Sam. 'Eduardo's probably forgotten all about the Ghostbusters by now. I know I have.'

'Oh,' said Al, his eyes glazing over, 'I sure haven't forgotten.'

'Not everyone is a sexaholic like you, Al.'

'I'm not a sexaholic. I'm not addicted to sexahol. Anyway, why are you so against this? You're the one who keeps wanting more to work with.'

'I need something a lot more concrete than that,' said Sam. 'You judging Eduardo by your own standards is not going to help. Where is he now?'

'Hold on.' Al pressed some more buttons. 'He's in class, or at least that's where he's supposed to be. But he finishes at eleven, so you should see him this afternoon.'


	2. Chapter 2

_Extreme Ghostbusters/Quantum Leap: _**Being Elizabeth**

Part 2

Later that morning, Sam found himself working through a pile of ironing while Al kept insisting that he was there to help Eduardo seduce Kylie.

'It's all we've got,' he said.

'We've got the horrible feud between Eduardo and his brother,' said Sam.

'Yeah, well, who wants to get on with walrus face anyway? Look at you, standing there ironing his smelly old shirts. I bet they smell, don't they?'

'They smell great,' Sam said, as the doorbell rang, 'because I washed them. Now shut up while I answer the door.'

'I hope it's Eduardo,' said Al.

It so happened that it was Eduardo.

'I just remembered I left my laundry here yesterday,' he said. 'Would it be okay if I came in and did it now?'

'Absolutely,' said Sam, stepping aside to let him in. 'You set it off and I'll make us some coffee. I could sure use a break from ironing.'

Five minutes later, Eduardo and Sam were sitting at the kitchen table, each nursing a steaming mug of coffee.

'So,' said Sam, wondering what to say and looking helplessly across the room at Al. 'I don't think I thanked you for protecting me from that shadow monster yesterday.'

'I didn't really do anything,' said Eduardo. 'Except get caught.'

'But _I_ didn't get caught, did I?' said Sam.

'Like you told that Kylie girl,' said Al. 'Say it, Sam. Just to see how he reacts.'

'Like you told that Kylie girl,' Sam said resignedly.

'Did I?' Eduardo asked. 'That must have sounded pretty stupid.'

'Not at all. So… have you given any more thought to what I said yesterday?'

'If you're asking whether I've decided what to do with the rest of my life, I can't do that in a couple of days, Beth. Carlos'll have to put up with it, or else throw me out.'

'Well, let's not encourage him to do _that_,' said Sam. 'We'd miss you if you went, and I'd worry about whether you were happy, and if you were getting by.'

'Yeah, well, he hasn't thrown me out yet.'

'Carl really does care about you, Eduardo. If he didn't, then he wouldn't give a damn whether you were a cop or a college student or living on the streets. I bet you could talk it out, if one of you would just make the first move.'

'Did I say anything else?' Eduardo asked.

'What?'

'Yesterday. Did I say anything else to… the Ghostbusters?'

'I'm telling you, Sam, he's thinking about that girl,' said Al.

'You did say _something_ else,' said Sam. 'I'm not sure you want me to tell you.'

'You might as well,' said Eduardo. 'It's not like I'll ever see them again.'

'Okay, well… you told that Kylie girl she wasn't cheap.'

'Aw man,' said Eduardo, looking sheepish.

'You know,' said Sam, 'if you _wanted_ to see any of them again…'

'Why the hell would I want to do that?'

'Careful, Sam,' said Al. 'I don't think he wants to admit it.'

'No reason,' said Sam. 'Only I'm thinking of calling them out again… to check over Kevin's bedroom. I didn't sleep too well last night, because I remembered that thing started in his room, and we didn't even get the Ghostbusters to look in there.'

'It must be okay now,' said Eduardo. 'Kevin survived the night, didn't he? And what about Carlos? I heard him yelling about it last night, all the way from my shower.'

'This is my house too,' said Sam, 'and Kevin is my son, and I'm worried about him. His safety is worth more than a fight with my husband.'

'Sure it is,' said Eduardo, smiling for the first time since the Ghostbusters had been. 'I'll get out of your hair until the laundry's done, okay? Thanks for the coffee.'

He got up and left, and Sam turned his attention onto Al.

'I was starting to think you were right, Al,' he said, 'but if he doesn't want to be here when the Ghostbusters come, then it's not even worth my calling them.'

'Sure it is,' said Al. 'I've seen guys like him before, Sam. He likes that girl, but he doesn't have the guts to do anything about it.'

'But they only met once,' said Sam, 'for five minutes, if that. And anyway, how is getting involved with a girl supposed to help him improve his grades? Just maybe, in the original history, Eduardo went out with Kylie and that was why his grades started slipping. Maybe he was even with her when he was arrested for resisting arrest.'

'There's no data to support _any_ of that,' said Al.

'Well, why would there be?'

'Yeah, okay. Look, if he goes after her on his own, then that'll probably mean I'm wrong. But I don't think he's going to do that. Surely you can see that _something_ has changed for him since the Ghostbusters came, and what else could it be? Why didn't he want to have dinner with you last night, or talk to you after?'

'He told me he was studying,' said Sam.

'Sure he was,' said Al. 'He was probably studying a mental image of -'

'Al, don't. Just let me tell you why I'm not sure about this. If Eduardo starts dating a Ghostbuster, Carl won't like it, and Eduardo won't like Carl telling him how much he doesn't like it. I don't want to make things worse between them.'

'I see your problem, Sam. But it has to be done.'

'Does it? What does Ziggy say?'

'Nothing yet,' said Al, consulting his handlink. 'I guess Ziggy doesn't know anything about what Eduardo thinks of Kylie, or what she thinks of him.'

'She didn't seem to like him very much.'

'Well, that's great! She was probably just entering stage one.'

'Stage one?' said Sam.

'Yes, stage one. The five stages of love, Sam - I've been through this with you before. Can't you remember the simplest thing? Stage one is denial, stage two is sex, stage three is acceptance, stage four is divorce and stage five is more sex. If you're lucky. What were we talking about?'

'Kylie.'

'Right,' said Al. 'Look, I'll tell you what. You call the Ghostbusters… no, wait, drive down there. You don't want to call and get the wrong ones coming out here.'

'_Drive_ down there? Al, why would someone do that when they can call? If I go all the way there just to make sure I get Kylie, it'll seem like I'm setting her up.'

'Well, you are.'

'Al!'

'If anyone asks, just say you happened to be passing,' said Al, 'and try not to sound like a stalker. You know Carl's going to be mad about this either way, and you don't want it to be for getting Janine Melnitz or Egon Spengler or someone round here, do you? Look, don't worry - Beth has a face people trust. I'll come with you and give you directions, and then I'll go and get Gushie to run the Kylie scenario through Ziggy and see if she comes up with anything. Okay, Sam?'

'Okay, Al,' Sam said resignedly.

'Oh, and wear a dress.'

'What? Why? My favourite thing about being Beth is that I don't have to get all dolled up like I normally do when I'm a woman.'

'Not for around the house, no,' said Al. 'But if you make yourself seem feminine and helpless, you're more likely to get your own way. Trust me on that.'

'All right, fine,' said Sam. 'Why do I even have to be Beth anyway? There are plenty of men around here - why didn't I leap in someone genetically closer to me?'

'You know it's not just about genetics, Sam. Obviously Beth must be in the best position to help. Now, stop complaining and go put your dress on.'

.-.-.

Sam wobbled through the door of the Ghostbusters' firehouse on Beth's only pair of high-heeled shoes, a floral print skirt flapping around his shins. He came to an unsteady stop in front of the reception desk, where Janine Melnitz was filing her nails and blowing a pink bubble.

'Excuse me, Miss Melnitz,' he said.

'Mrs Rivera, hi,' said Janine, putting down her nail file and tucking her gum away somewhere inside her mouth. 'Is everything all right?'

'I think so,' said Sam. 'I just… wondered if someone could come and take a look at my son's bedroom. See, after you left, I realised no one had even been in there, and that's where the shadow thing started out, and I've been really worried about Kevin sleeping in there.'

'Aha,' said Janine. 'This wouldn't have anything to do with Kevin wanting to meet the "real" Ghostbusters, would it?'

'Oh no, not at all,' said Sam. 'Look, I'm really sorry about that. He just wanted to meet the Ghostbusters he'd heard of - it's not that he's sexist or anything. Or maybe he is. My husband's kind of a big shouting bully, and he doesn't treat me like an equal. Oh… sorry, I shouldn't have said that.'

'I'll pretend I didn't hear,' said Janine. 'Look, it's okay. The guys aren't busy right now, so they can come and take a look at your son's room, and maybe sign a couple of autographs while they're at it.'

'Oh no, really,' said Sam, 'that's not -'

'Did I hear the dulcet tones of a damsel in distress?' A brown-haired man, perhaps approaching his forties, appeared suddenly at Sam's side. 'What can we do for you, Miss…?'

'Mrs,' Sam said pointedly. 'Rivera.'

'This is Dr Venkman, Mrs Rivera,' said Janine, shooting Dr Venkman a sharp look.

'Oh, please, call me Beth,' said Sam.

'Delighted to meet you, Beth,' said Dr Venkman.

'Not you,' said Sam, fixing him with a hard gaze.

'I'll call the rest of the guys for you,' said Janine, and before Sam could stop her, she had pressed a button that set off a screaming alarm.

'Oh no, Miss Melnitz, please!' said Sam, as suddenly three more men came sliding down the pole in the middle of the room. 'I… I'd really rather it was someone who was there before… because you saw what it was and… I'd feel much better. Besides, I'm alone in the house, and I'd feel more comfortable with a woman.' Thinking of Al's advice, he tilted his head to one side and tried to look pathetic.

'No problem, ma'am,' said the Ghostbuster whose nametag read 'Zeddemore'. 'We can bring Janine along.'

'Oh, great, thanks,' said Sam. 'Do you think it would possible to bring Miss, um, Griffin as well? It's just that I, er…'

'Y'know, guys,' said Janine, unwittingly charging to Sam's rescue, 'maybe Kylie and I should take this one. I don't think there'll be anything there - it's just to lay Mrs Rivera's mind at rest, really. That way, you guys can be on standby for emergencies.'

'But Kylie's managing the store,' said the Ghostbuster labelled 'Stantz'.

'We'll pick her up on the way,' said Janine.

'But what about the store?'

'This sounds like a pretty crumby job, Ray,' said Dr Venkman. 'At least let Janine call Kylie and see if she'll go.'

'But…'

'That's settled, then,' said Janine, and she picked up both her telephone receiver and her nail file.

'Were you wanting Melanie Ortiz and Ron Alexander as well?' asked the Ghostbuster who had not yet spoken. He was wearing glasses and a nametag that read 'Spengler'.

'That's a redundant question, Egon,' said Dr Venkman. Then he looked at Sam. 'God knows where Alexander is, and Ortiz is doing her _real_ job. She's an FBI agent.'

'Kylie's doing her real job too,' Ray Stantz said helplessly.

'You know the one.' Janine's voice came clearly to Sam's ears as the Ghostbusters' talk subsided. 'The blonde, the kid and the goat man…'

'Sounds like a great movie,' said Dr Venkman.

'Sam, check it out!' Al had appeared at Sam's shoulder. 'You're having a conversation with the original Ghostbusters! Pretty dress, by the way.'

Sam answered only with a fierce look in Al's direction.

'I'm sure our colleagues will find there's no cause for concern, ma'am,' said Egon Spengler. 'They filled out a full report, and it seems like an open and shut case.'

'You changed that report, Sam, by the way,' said Al. 'By going up to Kevin's room and enticing the entity, you _did_ make it a bigger job, and it did cost more. Fortunately you haven't damaged Carl and Beth's financial future, or anything like that.'

'She'll come,' said Janine, hanging up the phone.

'I'll just bet she -'

'Al!'

'What?'

'I mean… thanks, Miss Melnitz,' said Sam. 'That's great. It'll really, really put my mind at rest.' He gave her what he hoped was a sweet, feminine smile.

'It's great all right,' said Al. 'Ziggy says there's a -'

'In the car, okay?' hissed Sam.

Janine frowned at him. 'What's your rush?'

'I mean,' said Sam, 'do you want to follow me in my car?'

'Only from Ray's Occult,' said Janine, standing up and grabbing her car keys from the desk. 'You'll have to follow me there first.'

'Will you please take me with you, Janine?' asked Ray. 'I'll have to mind the store.'

'Remember to take Kylie a flight suit, Janine,' said Winston.

'And one for yourself,' said Egon.

'You just stay with me while they're getting changed,' Sam said quietly to Al.

'You're really a prude, Sam,' said Al. 'But one of these days, you'll lighten up.'

.-.-.

'All right,' said Sam, as he tried desperately to keep Janine's little yellow car in sight through the streets of Manhattan. 'What does Ziggy say now?'

'She says there's a ninety-three point six percent probability that you _are_ here to get Eduardo and Kylie together.'

'Ninety-three point six? What do you mean, ninety-three point six? How can she go from having no idea to saying ninety-three point six percent?'

'Because,' said Al, 'Gushie and I filled her in, and since she doesn't have any other idea what you might have to do - especially now that we know how impossible Carl is - the odds of you being here to play Cupid come in at ninety-three point six percent.'

'Still nothing else at all, huh?' said Sam. 'In that case, what about the remaining eight point four percent?'

'Margin for error. Oh, look, we're at this occult bookstore place.'

'Hey! Janine took the last parking spot!'

'Never expect to park in New York, Sam,' said Al. 'I guess you'll just have to drive around the block until Janine's ready to follow you home.'

Having no better ideas, Sam drove once around the block, and when he came back Kylie was climbing into Janine's car.

'Oh, to be that passenger seat…' said Al.

'She's young enough to be your granddaughter,' said Sam.

'Let's see.' Al pressed some buttons on his handlink. 'Well, she's forty-one years younger than me, so I guess she _is_ young enough.'

'She's younger than that here, Al. She's Eduardo's age, right?'

'Yeah, pretty much.'

'I suppose it really _is_ her he likes, and not Janine or the other one… Melanie?'

'Of course it's Kylie he likes,' said Al. 'It was her who made him act like a goof, wasn't it?'

'Yeah, I guess she did do that,' said Sam. 'Do you suppose their second meeting will go any better?'

'We'll soon find out, Sam.'

.-.-.

Half an hour later, Janine and Kylie were poking around in Kevin's bedroom while Sam stood out on the landing looking anxiously to his left, towards Eduardo's apartment. Soon enough, Al walked through the dividing wall.

'He's just watching TV,' he said.

'Watching TV?' said Sam, dismayed. 'He could be doing that for hours, and these two are almost ready to leave! We should have thought of a way to get Eduardo in the house before I went to get Kylie.'

'Well,' said Al, 'I guess his laundry's almost done.'

'Oh, great! Will he come down and get it?'

'How am I supposed to know? He's in the middle of watching _Ren and Stimpy_.'

'I can't believe this!' said Sam. 'Why didn't you tell me to make sure Eduardo was here?'

'What do you mean, why didn't I tell you? You can't expect me to think of everything!'

'You thought of me putting on a dress, didn't you? I was so busy worrying about that, I didn't think -'

'Mrs Rivera?' Janine was standing in Kevin's doorway, and giving Sam the same odd look that people always gave him when they caught him talking to Al. 'We're all finished in here.'

'There's really nothing to worry about,' Kylie added. 'We got all of it yesterday.'

'Oh,' said Sam, desperately trying to think what he could do. 'Thank you.'

'That'll be another forty bucks, please,' said Janine.

'Oh. Well, I think I'll pay you in cash. Let me just, uh… find my purse.'

So saying, Sam went into Carl and Beth's bedroom and looked all over for some cash. Finding none, he went back out onto the landing, smiled sheepishly at Janine and Kylie, and then went downstairs to look in the living room.

'Maybe Eduardo has seen your purse,' said Al. 'He knew where your chequebook was.'

'Yeah, maybe,' said Sam. 'I guess I don't have any better reason to go up and -'

'Mrs Rivera,' said Janine, appearing in the doorway. 'You're obviously… busy. Maybe we could just send you an invoice in the mail.'

'No!' said Sam. 'Don't leave. I, um…'

'Lunch,' said Al.

'Lunch!' said Sam, with unnecessary volume.

Janine turned as Kylie came down the stairs, and caught her eye. Then she turned back to Sam. 'What?'

'What?' hissed Sam, leaning towards Al and smiling stupidly at Janine and Kylie.

'It's lunchtime,' said Al. 'Offer them lunch.'

'I'm afraid I've kept you from your lunch,' said Sam. 'Let me get you something now, and you can eat while I get… my purse.'

'Well,' said Janine, 'I don't -'

'Sounds great,' said Kylie. 'It'll keep us off work for an hour, Janine, and anyway, we're allowed a lunch break. Thank you, Mrs Rivera.'

'Great,' said Sam, overcome with relief. 'I'll show you to the kitchen.'

'Sam, this is great!' said Al, following Sam as he led his visitors through the hallway. 'Kylie really wanted to come here, and now she really wants to stay. I'll just bet it's because she's hoping to see Eduardo!'

'Here we are,' said Sam, pulling two chairs out from under the kitchen table. 'You sit down, and I'll just, um… oh boy.'

As Kylie and Janine relieved themselves of their weapons, Sam stooped and opened one of the kitchen cupboards, only to find it filled with cleaning chemicals and what looked like a pair of old curtains. He stood up, laughed awkwardly and opened the fridge.

'Look, Sam, eggs,' said Al. 'You can make an omelette.'

'I can't make an omelette!' said Sam.

'Then don't,' said Janine, with a sideways glance at Kylie.

'I'll talk you through it,' said Al. 'I made omelettes all the time in the orphanage.'

'How about sandwiches?' asked Sam.

'That sounds like a good idea,' said Kylie.

'Okay, great. So, bread's in the bread bin and, um…'

'Sam, stop talking to yourself,' said Al.

Sam glared at him, and then proceeded to make a generous selection of sandwiches without further incident.

'There you are,' he said, setting a plate piled high with his offering in front of Janine and Kylie. 'Enjoy. Now then, I'll go get… my purse.'

'Laundry's done!' Al called from the utility room.

'Laundry's done!' said Sam. 'Thank God. I'll, er, be right back.'

.-.-.

'Hi, Eduardo,' said Sam, as Eduardo pulled open his front door. 'Do you know where I normally keep my purse?'

Eduardo laughed. 'Don't you?'

'I… seem to have forgotten.'

'You keep it in the cupboard under the stairs.'

'Right,' said Sam, 'of course I do. Oh, by the way, your laundry's ready if you want to come down and get it. And I made some sandwiches, if you want some.'

'Okay, great,' said Eduardo. 'I did skip lunch.'

'You know, you really shouldn't do that.'

'I know. Sorry, Beth.'

Eduardo grinned at him as he came out onto the staircase, pulling the door shut behind him. They both made their way down to the main house, and Sam took Eduardo into the kitchen.

'Oh,' Eduardo said, as Sam pulled out a chair and pushed him down onto it. 'You made sandwiches for the Ghostbusters.'

'Hello again, sir,' said Janine.

'Hi,' said Eduardo. 'So, Beth called you guys after all, huh?'

'Actually she drove to the firehouse,' said Janine.

'She did?' Eduardo looked at Sam in surprise. 'Why?'

'I was passing,' said Sam. 'I'd been, uh…'

'Hey, none of my business,' said Eduardo. 'So, is Kevin totally safe? There's no danger he was… I don't know… contaminated, or anything?'

'Oh,' said Sam, 'I didn't think of that!'

'You weren't worried about Kevin in the first place, Sam, remember?' said Al. 'You just wanted to get Kylie here, and now… she and Eduardo won't even look at each other. Well, that's stage one for you.'

'We could look him over if you'd like,' said Kylie, glancing at the clock on the wall. 'It must be almost time for him to come home from school.'

'She's right, Sam, it is,' said Al. 'You'll have to pick him up soon. But don't get them to look at him - that redhead will only charge you more money.'

'I'll get that forty bucks for you,' said Sam.

'Forty bucks?' said Eduardo. 'For five minutes' work? Man, maybe _I _should be a Ghostbuster.'

'You don't know it was five minutes' work,' said Kylie. 'We might have been battling a Level A demon in there for all you know.'

'I'd have heard you doing that,' said Eduardo. 'I bet you didn't find anything.'

'Okay, we didn't,' said Kylie, 'but we made a thorough search. There's no way you could make even a halfway decent Ghostbuster if you think looking for ghosts is just waving a PKE meter around for a few seconds.'

'Yeah, right,' said Al. 'That's exactly what you did, cutie.'

Sam, meanwhile, had made his way to the cupboard under the stairs. The conversation in the kitchen faded from his ears as he peered into the dark, dusty recesses and tried to locate Beth's bag.

'Al,' he said, as Al appeared in front of him. 'I'm going to have to get something out of her purse. I don't like going through a woman's purse.'

'Yeah, they're pretty freaky things,' said Al. 'Lipsticks, pepper spray, tiny mirrors, and if it's that time of the month…'

'I mean I don't like invading her privacy.'

'Well, you're living her life, Sam.'

'For how much longer, I wonder?' said Sam. 'A moment ago it didn't sound like Eduardo and Kylie were hitting it off.'

'Hey, don't worry, this is only the second time they've met - they're bound to still be in stage one.'

'Will you shut up about stage one? Where do we go from here? I got her back here once - I don't see how I can do it again.'

'Well,' said Al, 'maybe they'll be okay on their own now.'

'Then why haven't I leaped?'

'Perhaps you're supposed to pay that forty bucks first.'

'You know that won't be it, Al,' Sam said dryly. 'I guess there's more I have to do. Did you stay with Kylie and Janine while I was getting Eduardo? What did they say?'

'They said they thought you were crazy.'

'Oh. Well, I guess that's understandable.'

'Excuse me, Mrs Rivera.'

Sam jumped, hit his head on the doorframe and backed hastily out the cupboard, almost colliding with Janine.

'Did you find your purse?' she asked.

'Um…'

'Here it is, Sam.'

'Yes,' said Sam, reaching into the cupboard and picking up the imitation leather bag that Al was pointing to. 'So, forty bucks.'

'I'll tell you what,' said Janine. 'Take off five for the sandwiches.'

'Oh, you don't have to… well, okay, thanks.'

Sam was handing Janine thirty-five dollars in tens and ones when the door opened and Carl walked in. He took one look at Janine's uniform, and then he lost it.

'The Ghostbusters _again_?' he said. 'What the hell is wrong with you, Beth?'

'Carl, calm down,' said Sam. 'I was worried about Kevin.'

'What have you been saying to her?' Carl ploughed his way through the hallway until he was almost touching Janine, and leaned over her. Sam expected her to shrink back from him, but she didn't. 'How did you convince her to let you people back in here? What have you been doing to my house?'

'Your wife asked us here, Mr Rivera,' said Janine, 'and all we've been doing is our job.'

'Your "job" is conning impressionable people out of their money! Why shouldn't I arrest you right here and now?'

'Because I'm asking you not to, Carl,' said Sam, stepping between Carl and Janine.

'And we haven't broken any laws,' Kylie said from the kitchen doorway. 'How's that for a reason?'

'You got licences for those weapons you carry?' said Carl, advancing on Kylie, who didn't flinch any more than Janine had, despite being about a fifth Carl's size. 'You're not even the ones who normally use them, are you? And what the hell are _you_ doing here?' he added, fuming, as Eduardo stepped between him and Kylie.

'Back off, Carlos,' said Eduardo.

'My name is Carl! How many times do we have to have this conversation? Was this your idea, Eddie? Did you tell Beth to call these jokers?'

'You're _loco_, man. Why would I tell Beth to call the Ghostbusters?'

'Because you're an antisocial hoodlum, that's why!'

'Carlos, don't do this now.'

'You call me Carl!'

'Seriously! _Por lo menos dejarlos salir primero_!'

'AND YOU SPEAK ENGLISH IN THIS HOUSE!'

Sam, as a fluent Spanish speaker, knew that Eduardo had said 'At least let them leave first'.

'Al!' he said quietly. 'What is he doing here? You said he was working!'

'He _was_ working,' said Al. 'I guess he came home for a late lunch.'

'Then why didn't he tell me to expect him? That is so inconsiderate!'

'It's probably a regular arrangement. Y'know, Sam, it's about time to pick Kevin up.'

'Okay… okay. ENOUGH!' Sam yelled, silencing everyone, even Carl. 'Look… it's time to pick Kevin up from school. Why don't you come with me, Carl? I haven't had lunch yet, so maybe the three of us could go to McDonald's or something.'

'And leave these three in my house?' said Carl.

'They're my guests,' said Sam, 'and they were just about to leave before you got here. I'll see them out, and then we'll go, okay? Come on, Carl, let's not fall out over this.'

Carl was quiet for a moment. Then he said reluctantly, 'Fine. You two get out of my house, and I won't press charges.'

'That's not how we see people out, Carl,' said Sam.

Carl didn't answer and, to everyone's relief, he made himself scarce while Kylie and Janine gathered up their equipment and made a dignified exit. As they climbed into Janine's car, Sam could see that they were chatting away to each other, no doubt discussing their opinions on what they had just witnessed in the Rivera household.

'This isn't a bad thing, Sam,' said Al. 'Now Kylie's seen some of Eduardo's hidden depths, and besides, girls just love a guy who's vulnerable.'

'You don't think Carl scared her off?' Sam asked.

'Not if they're really meant to be together.'

'Well, maybe they're not. Why haven't I leaped?'

'I told you, I don't know,' said Al. 'I guess I'd better go make sure Gushie's making Ziggy work as hard as she can.'

Sam nodded. 'You do that, Al, and I'll have a little talk with my husband on the way to pick up our son.'

.-.-.

Carl drove, and Sam sat beside him, still in the dress and back in the high heels.

'You look real nice, Beth,' said Carl. 'I did notice.'

'Is this what you want me to be, Carl?' asked Sam.

'What do you mean?'

'Or do you just want me to be myself?'

'Of course I want you to be yourself. I love you. What is this, Beth?'

'I can't understand why you're trying to stop Eduardo from being happy,' said Sam. 'That is what you're doing, Carl, if you're stopping him from being himself. Why are you so keen to Americanise him?'

'Because he's my brother,' said Carl, 'and that means he has to do with me, however either one of us feels about it.'

'He's his own person. I wish you'd let him make his own choices, _and_ his own mistakes, if it comes to that.'

'When he moves out of my house, he can do whatever the hell he wants. God knows what that'll be, if he's so determined not to do what's in his blood.'

'In his blood?' said Sam. 'Being a cop isn't in his blood, Carl, and he's not denying what is. How can speaking a little Spanish do any harm?'

'You don't understand, Beth,' said Carl. 'Maybe you would if you were a cop. The women have it as hard as I do. I still think Eddie's going to see that he has to join the force or wind up a bum, so it's better that he learns now what he has to do to be accepted. You remember how it was with Dad, don't you?'

'Well,' said Sam, 'I guess he had a hard time. But that's no reason to try to force Eduardo to be something he's not. Don't you think that, by trying to be white, you're setting another race above your own? You can't fight prejudice by trying to hide what makes you different, but by showing that you're not ashamed.'

'We'd all like to live in a world without prejudice, Beth,' said Carl. 'But if we lived in a perfect world, I'd be looking for a new job.'

'That doesn't mean you can't try to make the world we live in better.'

'I wish I could, but it just doesn't work like that. Why are you bringing this up, Beth? I thought you respected my choices.'

'You're right,' said Sam. 'You have to do what you think is right. That's all anyone can do, including Eduardo. Don't let your differences come between you anymore, Carl. Can't you see how much better things would be?'

'There's Kevin,' said Carl, slowing down as they approached the school gates. 'This was a nice idea of yours to take him out, Beth. Maybe we should do it more often.'

.-.-.

After Sam had finished cleaning his teeth that night, he turned round and jumped violently when he found Al behind him.

'You have got to stop doing that!' he said.

'Yeah, well,' said Al, 'you've got to stop expecting me to appear in the mirror.'

'You could have let me know you were there.'

'Sorry. Anyway, I'm here because I have some new information for you. Ziggy says there's an eighty-five point two percent charge that you're here to persuade Eduardo to join the police department.'

'Ziggy's saying _that_ now, is she?' said Sam. 'First I was here to fix things between Eduardo and Carl, and then I was here to get Eduardo together with Kylie…'

'Well,' said Al, 'Eduardo joining the police _would_ fix things between him and Carl… probably. And as for Kylie, who knows? Like you said, you can't keep dragging her back here, so you'll just have to leave that one alone for a while.'

'Why has Ziggy suddenly decided that I have to persuade Eduardo to do something he clearly doesn't want to do?'

'I guess she thought it through and came down on Carl's side of the argument - or at least, eighty-five point two percent of her did. Just think about it, Sam. Eduardo's never even given the police a shot, and it's not like he has any better ideas, and look what happens to him. Maybe Carl's right about him throwing away his future.'

'It sounds like a stupid idea to me,' said Sam. 'Eduardo can't even enrol in the police academy until he's twenty-one, so what can I do about it now?'

'He'll get there soon enough, and before that he can be an auxiliary cop, like Kevin's doing in our time. At least it's something to do when he drops out of college.'

'But he's not _going _to drop out if he can just have the support he needs.'

'Well then, he can try the police after that. Ziggy -'

'Ziggy obviously has no idea about this leap. She's wonderful when it comes to cold, hard facts, but she just doesn't understand the human heart. Think about it a minute, Al. Whenever she can find a death for me to prevent, we're all pretty happy about what I have to do, but when no one dies Ziggy's projections are usually wrong.'

'I don't know about _usually_, Sam.'

'Often, then. When I'm not preventing a death, Ziggy is _often_ wrong, or at least she doesn't see the whole picture. But when I have a gut feeling, I'm usually right.'

'Okay, sure, fine,' said Al. 'And what exactly is your gut feeling this time?'

'That Eduardo is supposed to finish college, because that's what he wants to do.'

'But he's not going to drop out for another nine weeks, and if you can get him past that, he's not going to graduate for almost three years. Are you planning on staying around that long? You may not like Ziggy's idea, Sam, but I don't see you coming up with a better one.'

'No, I guess not,' said Sam. 'All right, I'll try talking to Eduardo about joining the police department, but I'm not going to put any kind of pressure on him. God knows, the last thing he needs is to lose Beth's support.'

'I guess that's a good compromise,' said Al. 'So anyway, how are things with Carl? You haven't exactly avoided confrontation.'

'Actually, Al, we were okay once we got in the car. He didn't want to talk about anything that might help me leap out of here, but at least we didn't fight.'

'Oh, well, that's great. But if you're really getting on all that well, I'd think of an excuse before you go back to your room.'

'An excuse?' said Sam. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, when a husband and wife have been fighting and then they make up, it's traditional for them to, er…'

'Oh.'

'Nighty-night, Sam.'

Al pressed the button to open the imaging chamber door, and left Sam to wonder whether Carl would believe that he had a headache.

.-.-.

The next day, after taking Kevin to school, Sam cleaned the bathroom, and then he cleaned the kitchen. After that, he made another batch of sandwiches, ate them and watched television until it was time to pick Kevin up.

Eduardo came home at about half past three, when Kevin was settled with his homework and Sam had just discovered that there was not enough food left to feed his family that evening.

'Eduardo!' he said, flinging open the front door and catching Eduardo with one foot on his bottom step. 'Could you please watch Kevin for about an hour? I have to go out and get some groceries.'

Eduardo was only too happy to oblige, and Sam managed to find his way to a small grocery store nearby. He bought what he thought was enough to last the week, loaded up the car and drove home, where he found Eduardo and Kevin sitting in front of the television. Eduardo jumped up to help him carry in the grocery bags. Kevin stayed where he was.

'What are you watching?' asked Sam, following Eduardo into the living room, once all the shopping bags were in. 'It just sounds like people yelling and swearing at each other.'

'It is,' said Kevin. 'It's a cop show.'

'It takes a particular kind of person to want to be a cop,' said Eduardo. 'Take this guy, for instance. He just keeps stopping cars at random, not finding anything, yelling in the driver's face until he yells back, and then arresting him for verbally abusing a police officer.'

'This guy isn't rising to it,' said Kevin. 'I wonder if the cop'll just let him go.'

Sam looked at the screen, where a young male driver was standing between a car and a yelling police officer, trying to put up with the situation until it went away.

'That's it!' the officer said suddenly. 'You're under arrest!'

'What for?' the driver asked, as the officer whipped out his handcuffs.

'Resisting arrest!'

'Oh boy,' said Sam.

'Unbelievable,' said Eduardo, shaking his head. 'Come on, Beth, I'll help you put that stuff away.'

He made his way to the kitchen, and Sam followed.

'Eduardo,' said Sam, as they began putting away the groceries. 'I hope you know most police officers aren't really like that. They just put the few who are on TV to entertain kids like Kevin.'

'Yeah, I know,' said Eduardo. 'But I also happen to know there's more corruption on the police force than you might think. Most of them aren't as bad as that guy, but… you know.'

'I guess I know what you mean,' said Sam. 'And I guess the best way to change it is by good guys joining the force and setting an example.'

There was a long pause. Then Eduardo said, 'We've had this conversation before, Beth.'

'We have?'

'Yes, and I said I _might_ think about it after I finish college, if I still don't have any better ideas. But when I think about it now… I _can__'__t_ think about it now, okay?'

'Okay,' said Sam. 'I guess that's more or less what I was hoping you'd say anyway. I'm not asking you to be someone you're not, Eduardo. I just want you to get along with your brother.'

'I know.'

'It sounds like you're pretty confident about college.'

'I don't know, kind of,' said Eduardo. 'You know it doesn't come naturally to me.'

'Eduardo, are you the first in your family to go to college?'

'You know I am.'

'But that's great!'

'Only if I can do it.'

'You _can _do it!' said Sam. 'Maybe you'd benefit from a little help, like a lot of people, and you mustn't be too proud to ask for it. If you're taking a physics or a music or a language class, for instance, I might be able to help you with that… as long as it's in the next day or two.'

'What a weird thing to say.'

'Yeah, I guess it was.'

'Beth,' said Eduardo. 'Can I ask you a question?'

'About quantum physics?' Sam asked hopefully.

'No, not about quantum physics. I just wondered if you were feeling okay. I don't want to pry, but you have been acting kind of weird lately.'

'I guess I have, haven't I? But it's nothing to worry about, honestly. I'm sure I'll be back to my normal self in a couple of days.'

'Okay,' said Eduardo. 'Well, you know where I am if you want me. Oh, but not tonight - I'm out. So don't worry about my dinner or anything, okay? I know you do worry about me, Beth. But there's no need.' He grabbed Sam's shoulders and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'I'll see you later.'

As Eduardo left, Al appeared.

'How did it go, Sam?' he asked.

'I don't know,' said Sam. 'Have I changed anything?'

'No, but Ziggy says there's a sixty-six percent chance that Eduardo's future is going to change after tonight, one way or another. I guess you must be able to have some effect on what happens afterward, if nothing's been decided yet.'

'What do you mean? What's tonight?'

'He has dinner reservations at the nicest place he can afford,' said Al. 'I think we can be pretty sure he's going out on a date.'

.-.-.

The following morning, Sam was woken not by Carl's alarm clock, but by Al yelling in his ear.

'Sam! Wake up! SAM!'

'What the…?' Sam struggled into a sitting position, looked at Carl's mountainous form sleeping beside him, and then looked at Al. 'What time is it?'

'Almost eight.'

'Why didn't Carl's alarm go off?'

'I'll ask if Ziggy knows,' said Al, taking his handlink out of his pocket. 'Let's see… ah, here we go. Carl's switching to the night shift. He'll be going to work in about twelve hours.'

'Why didn't he tell me?' said Sam. 'He expects me to know everything!'

'Well, Beth probably _does_ know everything.'

'At least this means I won't have to ward off his sexual advances anymore.'

'Too much information, Sam. Look, hopefully you'll be able to leap out of here soon. I just checked on Eduardo, and he -'

'What time is it?' demanded Carl, waking suddenly, and rocking Sam around on the mattress as he shifted his weight.

'Almost eight,' said Sam. 'I'd better get Kevin to school.'

Sam was surprised when Carl started getting up too, but when he thought about it, he realised that both of them had already had a night's sleep. Carl might well want to sleep again some time in the next eleven hours, but clearly not just yet.

Sam threw on some clothes and went downstairs, where he found Kevin eating cereal and reading a comic book at the kitchen table. Al was there too, reading over Kevin's shoulder.

'Sam,' he said, 'some of these super-villain chicks are _hot_!'

'They're just one reason why some women worry about trying to reach unattainable standards of beauty,' said Sam.

Kevin stared at him. 'What the heck are you talking about, Mom?'

'Nothing,' said Sam. 'I'm sorry, Kevin, I guess I overslept.'

'I was hoping you'd sleep long enough that I'd get the day off school,' said Kevin.

'If it happens again, you need to come and wake me.'

'Why don't I drive you to school, son?' said Carl, as he entered the room. 'Give your mom a break.'

'You'll have to go now or he'll be late,' said Sam. 'Here, drink this quickly.'

He poured out a glass of milk and thrust it at Carl, not wanting him to face the streets of Manhattan completely unnourished. He then quickly found Kevin's school bag, hurried him into putting on his shoes, gave him his lunch money and finally shepherded both him and Carl out of the front door. It was at precisely this moment that a series of alarming noises wafted down from Eduardo's apartment.

Carl's face darkened. 'What the…?'

He turned and ran up the metal staircase. Once at the top, he began pounding on the door and yelling, 'You! Open this door!'

'Carl, _really_!' said Sam, running up the stairs also, but he was too late to prevent Carl from forcing the door with his shoulder.

'It's okay, Sam,' said Al, who was inside the apartment and had his face in the door of the microwave oven, which Eduardo was at that moment unplugging. 'He just let a little bit of tinfoil get in here.'

'What the hell is going on?' yelled Carl.

'Give me break, man!' said Eduardo. 'Can I help it if my microwave explodes?'

'I can't have you up here if you're going to be a danger to my family!'

'Carl, calm down,' said Sam. 'It's probably just a little bit of tinfoil - it could happen to anyone.'

'Oh, yeah, that must have been it,' said Eduardo. 'Damn! Just when I thought I'd got the hang of this thing.'

'You need to take Kevin to school, Carl,' said Sam. 'Now he's definitely going to be late. Don't let him get in trouble with his teacher, okay?'

'Okay,' Carl said gruffly, still looking at Eduardo. 'But you just…'

Sam put both hands on Carl's arm and gave him a push towards the door. He doubted he could have moved him very far on his own, and he was sure Beth wouldn't have been able to shift him an inch, but fortunately Carl decided to go of his own accord.

'What happened?' Sam heard Kevin asking.

'Just a stupid accident, Kevin,' said Carl.

Eduardo had now opened the microwave door and was assessing the damage. Sam was about to ask if he was all right when suddenly, Kylie crawled out from under the bed in the corner.

'Can I come out now?' she said, looking wryly up at Eduardo.

'You already did,' he said.

'Yeah, well, I thought it was just your brother you didn't want to know I was here.' She got to her feet, dusted herself down and then shot Sam a smile. 'Hi, Mrs Rivera.'

'Hi,' said Sam, staring at her.

'Oh, right, I forgot,' said Al. 'I woke you up to tell you Kylie was here.'

Sam looked at him. '_You_ forgot a thing like _that_?'

'I didn't forget,' said Eduardo. 'I just didn't notice it. I'm really sorry, Kylie.'

'I think they were only studying,' said Al. 'What a crime, huh?'

'It's okay,' said Kylie. 'Like Mrs Rivera said, it could happen to anyone.'

'You have a dirty mind, Sam, jumping to conclusions like that.'

'Please, Kylie,' said Sam, 'call me Beth. Would you guys like to come down and have breakfast with me?'

'Oh, that would be great!' said Kylie. 'If you're sure you don't mind.'

'Of course not,' said Sam. 'Come on.'

Kylie followed him, and so did Eduardo, but Sam sensed that he was only doing so out of politeness. Clearly he had been shaken by the morning's events, and he wouldn't meet anyone's eye as the trio sat down to a breakfast of orange juice and toast. Al stood by, not speaking, but making a lot of noise with his handlink.

'I could make you something more substantial if you'd like,' said Sam.

'Not for me, Beth, thank you,' said Kylie. 'I have to go home and feed my cat, and then I have to get to the store. But there is one thing you can do for me. Make sure Eduardo practises using literary theory like I made him promise.'

'I never thought English lit. would be so complicated,' said Eduardo.

'I always hated English lit.,' said Sam.

Eduardo looked at him in surprise. 'I thought you loved Jane Austen and stuff.'

'Oh,' said Sam. 'Right, I do. Of course I do. I enjoy reading it, not studying it.'

'Makes sense,' said Kylie. 'Personally, I find literary theory fascinating. It's not unrelated to paranormal activity, you know. Did you ever get a creepy feeling when you were in a library?'

'Every time,' said Eduardo.

'Ghosts like to hide in books,' said Kylie, 'and they wouldn't if the books weren't full of the authors' deepest, darkest fears and insecurities, and that's where things like Darwinism and Freudianism come in. Then, of course, there's saying the characters are gay just for the sake of it. That's dumb.'

'Wanna take my English class for me?' asked Eduardo.

'You don't need me to do that,' said Kylie. 'Now, I really do have to go. Thank you, Beth. Bye!'

Seconds later, Kylie had gone and the front door had clicked shut behind her.

'She seems like an intelligent girl,' said Sam.

'Right,' said Eduardo. 'Too smart for me.'

'No,' said Sam. 'Just too smart to be filling her head with ghosts and stuff. Are you going to see her again?'

'I doubt it,' said Eduardo. 'First I keep her up all night explaining _Wuthering Heights _to me, then I almost blow her up when I try to make her breakfast, and then I stuff her under the bed when Carlos shows up.'

'I think Carl came off worse from all that,' said Sam. 'He's the one who broke the door down, after all. I shouldn't think Kylie wanted to see him anyway.'

'I was more worried about him seeing her. If Carlos caught me with a Ghostbuster in my room, that would be worse than if it was any other girl. He'd never believe we were only studying… you know, because we were. I don't… I mean… it'd probably make life easier if I didn't see her again.'

'Sam,' said Al. 'You changed history by setting up for Kylie to be here tonight, but it's not for the better. Now Eduardo drops out of school at the start of next week.'

'What?' said Sam. 'Why?'

'Because I don't want Carlos on my back about her too,' said Eduardo. 'And it's not like she's about to fall in love with me or anything.'

'Ziggy can't tell us that,' said Al, 'but it sounds to me like he's completely lost whatever confidence he had. He doesn't think Kylie's interested, and he doesn't think he's smart enough for college. Whether she wants to be his girlfriend, or just his study buddy, he's sabotaging himself by cutting her out of his life.'

'You're right,' said Sam.

'I know,' said Eduardo.

'Not you,' said Sam. 'I mean… you're right about Carl not liking it, but you mustn't let that stop you. The important thing is what _you_ think and feel in your heart.'

'How Kylie feels matters too,' said Eduardo. 'She won't want to see me again.'

'You don't know that.'

'This whole thing was a stupid idea.'

'If he doesn't find some confidence,' said Al, 'he'll never get to stage two with that girl, and that would be a real shame.'

'Al! Oh, jeez - sorry, Eduardo!'

'Don't worry about it,' said Eduardo. 'I have to go, Beth - I got class in an hour. Thanks for breakfast.'

'Now can you see why Beth's in the best position to help him?' said Al, as Eduardo left the room. 'Who else could get that kid to talk about his feelings the way he just did?'

'But did it do any good?' asked Sam. 'Is he going to see Kylie again?'

'Maybe,' said Al, consulting his handlink, 'but if he does see her again, it won't change what happens. He's still going to drop out next week.'

'I wish we knew why. What am I going to do now?'

'You could try talking to Kylie,' said Al. 'You know - find out her intentions. She might be about to break his heart or something.'

'I guess I'll have to try that,' said Sam, getting to his feet, then immediately sitting down again. 'I'll go after Carl gets back with the car.'


	3. Chapter 3

_Extreme Ghostbusters/Quantum Leap: _**Being Elizabeth**

Part 3

When Sam found Kylie behind the counter at Ray's Occult, filling in paperwork behind a precarious fort of books, Al was with him.

'What are you going to say to her?' he asked.

'I don't know exactly, Al,' said Sam.

Kylie looked up from her work, smiled when she saw Sam and said, 'Hi, Beth. What can I do for you?'

'Well,' said Sam, 'I just wanted to apologise for my husband's behaviour this morning.'

'You came all the way down here just for that?'

'Well, no…'

'I didn't think so. Oh, hold on.'

Kylie ducked behind the counter, and as she did so, Sam became aware of a low growling sound. Seconds later, Kylie popped up again. She was holding a black-and-white cat, her hands lost in the fur that was sticking up in spikes all over his body.

'Oh,' said Sam. 'You brought your cat.'

'I felt bad about leaving him last night,' said Kylie. 'Anyway, I thought he added a little ambience to the store. I'm afraid he doesn't like your invisible friend, though.'

Sam started. 'Invisible friend? I don't have an invisible friend!'

Pagan was staring directly at Al and making a terrifying noise, which resonated from somewhere deep within him.

'Stupid cat,' said Al. Then he made a hissing noise, and the cat's growling grew louder and more alarming.

'Don't do that!' said Sam, looking at Al. Then he looked at Kylie, opened his mouth to speak, and could think of nothing to say.

'It's okay,' said Kylie. 'Whatever's going on with you is your business, as long as you're not hurting anyone, and I don't think you are. But Pagan obviously doesn't like it. Excuse me a minute while I put him in the back.'

Kylie stepped over some books and carried the growling, hissing and spitting cat through a door behind her. Sam looked helplessly at Al.

'Don't worry about it, Sam,' Al said. 'Most people just think you're crazy. At least she's keeping an open mind.'

'There,' said Kylie, emerging from the back room and shutting the door behind her. 'He should be okay back there. All right, Beth, I admit it - I _am_ curious. Do you know the story of Rumplestiltskin?'

'Um… vaguely,' said Sam.

'It's probably the best known story of naming magic. Some legends say that anyone who knows the name of a fey creature has power over it, and some cultures still honour the power of names. Did you know that in several gypsy tribes, children are given a secret name that's whispered to them on the day of their birth?'

'I… might have known that.'

'I know your friend's name is Al,' said Kylie, her eyes flickering in Al's direction, where Pagan had been looking. Al crossed the room, and Kylie refocused on Sam. 'I wonder if knowing _your_ name would expose your secrets to me.'

'My name is Beth,' said Sam.

'It's okay, don't worry,' said Kylie. 'I don't _want_ to know your real name. I like the mystery. That's the trouble with being a Ghostbuster. Almost every time, we just blow the lid off whatever mystery there was. Like your shadow, for instance. Do you want to know what that was?'

'I'm not sure,' said Sam.

'It was a feeling that somebody left behind. We think it was there for a long time, and it was wasn't always a bad feeling, but then it changed. Something made it turn dark and destructive.'

'That isn't very scientific.'

'Oh, are you a scientist?' said Kylie. 'Then you're here by scientific means… maybe. Curiouser and curiouser. But anyway, what did you _really_ want to see me about?'

'I was just wondering,' said Sam, 'if you were going to keep helping Eduardo.'

'Of course. I'm seeing him again tonight.'

'Oh. Great.' Then he could think of nothing else to say, except, 'Well, bye.'

'Bye, Beth.'

Sam turned, left the shop and made his way back to the car.

'That girl is really starting to creep me out,' said Al, who was there waiting.

'Let's just forget about all the mumbo jumbo, shall we?' said Sam. 'She said she was going to keep helping Eduardo. I guess I didn't have anything to do with that, but is there any chance I changed history in there?'

'No,' said Al, looking at his handlink. 'But maybe we just need to wait a little longer. If they're seeing each other tonight, maybe history will change after that.'

'But it doesn't work like that, Al! You're in the future, so from Ziggy's point of view, whatever's coming has already happened. History already changed once. Eduardo was going to drop out in nine weeks, and now he's going to drop out in one, and that must be because of something _I__'__ve_ made happen.'

'Look, let's just wait until tomorrow and review the situation then, okay? To be honest, I'm getting tired of asking Ziggy for news and her coming up with nothing.'

'Oh,' said Sam, '_you__'__re_ getting tired of this? How do you think _I_ feel? I hate this leap! How am I _ever_ going to get out of here?'

'I'm going now, Sam,' Al said, with an air of offended dignity. 'I'll come back tomorrow when hopefully you'll be a bit less hostile.'

'Al…'

Al opened the imaging chamber door and left.

.-.-.

Carl went to work straight after dinner, making sure to remind Sam that he would want something to eat at about six o'clock in the morning. Sam threw something together that he could easily heat up the next day, set the alarm for five to six and then went to sleep, not sorry to be alone this time.

In the morning, Carl began his bedtime routine just as Kevin was getting up. Sam thought that, as he was awake and dressed, he might as well make a cooked breakfast for himself and Kevin. He ruined his first attempt at fried eggs, and was about to start his second when the phone rang. He went into the hallway to answer it.

'Hello?'

'Hi, Beth, it's Kylie,' came the reply.

'Hi, Kylie,' said Sam. 'What can I do for you?'

'Just answer me one question. Is your friend - you know the one - a total pervert?'

'As a matter of fact, he is. How do you know that?'

As Sam was asking this question, Al appeared beside him, waving his arms around and talking excitedly.

'Sam!' he said. 'Eduardo and Kylie reached stage two last night! She's up there right now, walking around in a teeny, tiny bath towel that could fall off at any moment, God willing. The only problem is, she brought her stupid cat…'

'Never mind,' Kylie said, as Al was talking. 'Just tell him to keep the hell away from me, will you?'

'…and he was all like this…' Al lifted his hands and mimed cat claws, hunching his shoulders and making hissing noises.

'You bet I will,' said Sam. 'I'm really sorry, Kylie.'

'Hey, it's not your fault,' said Kylie. 'See you.'

'Bye. Al,' said Sam, as he put down the phone. 'How many times do I have to tell you?'

'Oh, you are such a prude. They normally don't know I'm there.'

'It doesn't matter whether they know you're there or not!'

'You've totally lost it, Mom,' said Kevin, as he came down the stairs.

'Have some cereal and toast, Kevin,' said Sam. 'I ruined breakfast, and now I don't think there's time to try again.'

'Why is it you can't cook all of a sudden?'

'Hey! I've been doing all right. Go and start your breakfast, please - I'll be there in a minute.'

Kevin disappeared into the kitchen, and Sam beckoned Al towards the front door.

'I hate cats,' said Al. 'There was this one that used to hang around the orphanage, smelling of garbage and staring at me the whole time. And now that fur ball up there keeps hissing at me. If he'd just kept quiet, I could have -'

'Al,' said Sam. 'Aren't you forgetting something?'

'Like what?'

'Maybe Kylie's here because of what I said to Eduardo. Have I changed history?'

'Hmm? Oh!' Al's eyes suddenly came into focus, and he pulled out his handlink. 'Let's see here… Oh. I'm afraid not, Sam.'

'_What_? You can't be serious! _Why_ not?'

'I don't know. All I know is that Eduardo still drops out of college next week.'

'When next week?'

'Tuesday.'

'What about Kylie? What happens to her?'

'Nothing in particular,' said Al, as he pressed some buttons. 'She's still doing pretty much what she's doing here, and she goes to college as well.'

'What's Eduardo doing in our time?'

'Well, I think pretty much the same as Ziggy said he was… oh, wait, no. He works on the docks all the hours God sends. Well, at least he has a steady income now.'

'I can't understand this,' said Sam. 'Are he and Kylie still together?'

'Maybe, but if they are, they're not married or living together.'

'I can't understand why getting involved with Kylie would make Eduardo leave college to work on the docks _next week_! It must be her, right? I haven't changed anything else - or did I completely misfire when I was trying to encourage him? Does Carl still arrest him for resisting arrest?'

'Hold on,' said Al, 'I'll find out.'

'What am I going to do now? Maybe I should try talking to Kylie again - I didn't really get a lot out of her last time.'

'You can't talk to her now, Sam. She has to go back to the hocus-pocus shop, and you have to take Kevin to school. Ziggy says the arrest doesn't happen.'

'What else does Ziggy say?' asked Sam. 'What happens to the others?'

'What others?'

'Carl and Beth and Kevin - haven't you been checking up on them?'

'No,' said Al, tapping away at his handlink. 'Sam, I hardly think their futures are going to be affected by what… you've… oh.'

'What do you mean, _oh_?' said Sam. 'Have you been assuming too much again, Al?'

'I guess so. I just found out that Carl is forcibly retired from the police department in thirteen months. It happens a few weeks after… Beth kills herself.'

'Beth _kills_ herself? Dear God, _why_?'

'It happens on September twenty-third, nineteen ninety-three. That's exactly one year from today. And tonight… Kevin disappears without a trace.'

After this Al stopped speaking, his handlink stopped beeping, and Sam did not respond. Then, a moment later, both men jumped violently when they heard Kevin's voice from the kitchen doorway.

'I've had some cereal, Mom, and I'm about to have some toast. Are you almost ready to go?'

'Sure thing, Kevin,' Sam said shakily. 'You just save me a piece of toast, okay?'

'Okay, Mom.'

Kevin disappeared back inside the kitchen, and Sam turned back to Al.

'What could I possibly have done to make this happen?' he asked.

'I don't know, Sam,' said Al, still looking at his handlink. 'According to Ziggy, Kevin's never found, either dead or alive. Carl never gives up trying to find out what happened. It's going to dominate his work, but I guess he muddles through until Beth's suicide.'

'Why does she do that if there's any chance Kevin might be alive? Most mothers wouldn't, would they?'

'I guess not, but Ziggy says that Beth is declared mentally unstable and subjected to all kinds of treatments, so God knows what was going through her mind. We don't know exactly what happened after the suicide, but suffice it to say, Carl obviously couldn't handle work anymore. Oh… and Eduardo's been using the money he earns to take care of both of them. Well, that says something for their relationship, anyway. Not that it's worth the sacrifice.'

'But Beth's not really going to commit suicide, Al, surely!' said Sam. 'If I can keep Kevin safe, then I'll leap out of here, and if I can't, I'll be stuck here and she'll be stuck in the future, looking like me. And you'd have to tell her why.'

'Dr Beeks would have her work cut out, helping Beth come to terms with all that,' said Al. 'But we can't be sure of any of it, Sam. There's no guarantee you won't leap some time, even if you fail.'

'Well, I'm not _going_ to fail. Did you really say he disappears _tonight_? Thank God I made you check! I wish I'd installed Ziggy with an automatic update feed.'

'All right, Sam, don't go on about it - we know now. It's going to happen tonight, some time between eight p.m. and midnight.'

'No it damn well isn't!'

'Mom?'

Again, Sam jumped almost out of his skin. Once recovered, he whipped round and saw Kevin holding out a dry piece of toast to him.

'We have to go,' said Kevin.

'Right,' said Sam. 'Okay, let's go. Thanks.' He took the dry toast and ate it distractedly on the way out to the car.

'Sam,' said Al. 'I'll go and get all the data I can on what happens to Kevin, and then report back to you.'

Sam didn't answer as Al opened the imaging chamber door once again, and stepped through it.

'Kevin,' said Sam, as they settled themselves in the car. 'Is anything bothering you? Any reason you might… not feel safe or happy at home?'

'No,' said Kevin.

'Are you sure? What about all the fighting? Doesn't that bother you?'

'I'm used to it, Mom,' said Kevin. 'I mean sure, it'd be nice if it stopped, but I promise it's not going to make me run away from home or anything. Okay?'

'Okay,' said Sam, who did not feel okay at all, but Kevin sounded so sincere that there seemed no point in pursuing the matter.

.-.-.

When Sam arrived home, he saw Eduardo and Kylie kissing passionately on Eduardo's top step, a wicker cat carrier wedged between them.

'Kylie!' Sam called, and Kylie almost toppled backwards over the banister in her attempt to prise her lips away from Eduardo's.

'Hi, Beth!' she called.

'Can I give you a ride to the store?'

'I don't know,' said Kylie. 'I really should take Pagan home.'

'Leave him here,' said Eduardo, gently pulling the cat carrier towards him. 'Then you'll have to come back for him.'

'Oh, I don't know about that,' said Kylie. 'Do I really trust you with him?'

'Hey, we got on okay, didn't we? I think he liked the male company.'

'If they were at stage three,' said Al, who was suddenly at Sam's side, 'she wouldn't hesitate to leave that darn cat with him.'

'What did you find out?' asked Sam, as Eduardo and Kylie tussled playfully over the cat carrier.

'Nothing. Gushie's going to keep working with Ziggy, and they'll send me anything as soon as it comes in, but so far there's been nothing on Kevin's disappearance.'

'Al, this is terrible!'

'I know. Ziggy agrees that you're here to save Kevin, by the way - she's put the odds at ninety-nine point four percent. But I guess you pretty much knew that.'

'If Ziggy didn't agree with this,' said Sam, 'then we'd know she's malfunctioning.'

'So you're giving her a ride?' Al asked, nodding towards Kylie as she made her way down the stairs, without Pagan's carrier.

'Yes.'

'What do you think she can tell you?'

'Probably nothing, but she's the only thing that's change- hi!'

'Hi,' said Kylie. 'Al's here, is he? You're sick, Al - I hope you know that.'

'Don't worry, I do,' said Al, watching Kylie's retreating form as she made her way towards the car. 'So what do you think, Sam - she's a kidnapper or something?'

'No,' said Sam. 'Well, I suppose it's possible, but no, I don't think she's responsible. It's just that she _has_ to be connected somehow.'

Sam went to the car and climbed into the driver's seat, while Al moved his image to the back of the car and locked it there.

'I don't want to impose, Beth,' said Kylie. 'But I think you really want to give me a ride, don't you?'

'I thought it would be nice for us to have another talk,' said Sam, as he started up the car, 'if you and Eduardo are going to be… involved. You'll be back again tonight, won't you? To collect Pagan.'

'Of course. Listen, Beth… if you get a minute, would you mind checking on him for me? I mean, he's fed and everything, and he'll probably just sleep most of the day, but… I'd feel better.'

'Sure, no problem.'

'Thank you. I don't know if I should have left him, but I felt guilty about taking him around so much yesterday - I didn't want to do it again today. Cats really hate travelling. I meant to take him home last night, but then I… didn't.'

'You must trust Eduardo more than you think,' said Sam. 'If you didn't, you wouldn't have left Pagan with him.'

'Yeah, I guess.'

After that, they sat in silence for a while.

'I don't see what this is accomplishing, Sam,' Al said at length.

'Well,' said Sam, 'does Ziggy have anything else for me?'

Kylie looked at him. 'Another invisible friend?'

'Kind of. But look, don't be surprised if I forget all about Al and Ziggy after tonight. I haven't been myself lately, but hopefully that's going to change. What are your plans for tonight, Kylie?'

'That's a very personal question, Sam,' said Al.

'It's just,' Sam went on, 'I thought it would be nice if you joined us for dinner, and got to know the family.'

'Did you?' said Kylie. 'I thought I was supposed to avoid your husband.'

'Did Eduardo tell you that?'

'Not in so many words, but he did make me hide from the guy.'

'If you'd like to have dinner with us,' said Sam, 'I'll have a word with Carl and tell him to behave himself. I guess he'll have just got up, and then after dinner he's going to work. So that means, after he's gone… it'll be me, Kevin, you, Eduardo and Pagan in the house.'

'I guess so,' said Kylie.

'I just can't figure this out.'

'Is there anything I can do to help?'

'Not that I can think of right now.'

'You know, Sam,' said Al, 'Kylie's not the only one who wouldn't be there if you hadn't changed history. Maybe it has to do with Pagan. Maybe he's going to run away tonight, and you all go out looking for him, and that's when Kevin disappears. Tell you what. When you get back, check on Pagan, and make sure Eduardo knows to keep all the windows closed and stuff.'

'Okay,' said Sam.

'Okay?' said Kylie.

'Okay, here we are,' said Sam, pulling up outside Ray's Occult. 'Have a good day, and I'll see you later. If you do want to come to dinner, that is.'

'Sure, I'll come to dinner,' said Kylie, as she undid her seatbelt and opened the car door. 'It should be an adventure, anyway. Good luck breaking it to Eduardo. Oh, and thanks a lot for the ride. Hi, Dr Stantz!' She got out of the car, slammed the door and made her way towards the Ghostbuster called Ray Stantz, who was opening up the store.

.-.-.

Sam knocked on Eduardo's door as soon as he got home, and explained that Kylie had asked him to check up on Pagan.

'So she doesn'ttrust me after all,' said Eduardo.

'Well,' said Sam, 'she hasn't known you all that long.'

Pagan was asleep and snoring at the foot of Eduardo's bed, stretched out with his abdomen exposed.

'He sure seems happy here,' said Sam.

'He is,' said Eduardo. 'He likes me. He went a little crazy this morning, for some reason, but after Kylie called you he was fine.'

'She didn't tell you why she was calling, did she?'

'No.'

'Didn't you wonder?'

'Kind of,' said Eduardo, 'but it's none of my business.'

'Do you have class today?'

'No. Don't worry, though, I'm going to study.'

'I'm glad,' said Sam. 'And keep an eye on Pagan, won't you? Make sure he's safely shut in when you come down to dinner. I invited Kylie, by the way.'

Eduardo's reaction was spectacular. He swayed a little, clung to the doorframe and said, 'You _what_? _Madre de Dios_, Beth, what possessed you?'

'Calm down, Eduardo, it's not that bad.'

'I wasn't planning on _ever_ telling Carlos about her, never mind tonight!'

'What if it turns out to be serious?' asked Sam. 'If you start keeping Carl from the truth now, it'll only make things worse further along the line. I wish you two would just sit down and have a good, long talk about your feelings. I know that, deep down, you care for each other. I just hope it doesn't take a tragedy to make you realise it.'

'Tragedy?' said Eduardo. 'What makes you say that?'

'Nothing. Look, don't worry about Carl, okay? I'll tell him to behave.'

'Okay, well… thanks, I guess.'

'And be sure to take really good care of Pagan, won't you?' said Sam. 'Don't leave any windows open, or anything like that.'

'He'll be fine with me, Beth,' said Eduardo.

'Okay, well… good.'

As Sam left the apartment, Al was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.

'Did I change history?' Sam asked.

'No,' said Al, 'but there was only ever an outside chance it was the Pagan thing.'

'Great.'

'Maybe it happens because of you inviting Kylie to dinner. Maybe there's a big fight about it, and Kevin gets so upset that he runs out the front door and into the path of a great, big bus.'

'There'd be a record of that. No more conjecture, Al, okay? It doesn't help. I want facts only, please.'

'As if on cue,' Al said, as his handlink made a shrill beeping sound. 'Let's see here… Ziggy says there's going to be a call to this house this evening, from the Ghostbusters. Apart from that, there's still nothing on anything that happens here tonight.'

'A call from the Ghostbusters?' said Sam. 'Why in the world would that happen?'

'Well, I guess we'll find out. Just be ready to take the call at eight fifteen.'

.-.-.

Sam found himself getting horribly stressed when the time came to start dinner in earnest. He'd had a chicken in the oven for a few hours, and by six thirty he was worried about burning it, or ruining the vegetables, or the base of the banoffee pie in the fridge going soggy, or something else going wrong that he hadn't thought of. He was reading the cooking instructions from the chicken for about the tenth time when Al appeared.

'Nervous about your big family dinner?'

'AAAH!' Sam jumped, and threw the cooking instructions into a pan of simmering gravy. 'Don't _do_ that!'

'Sorry, Sam.'

'Did you find out anything else?'

'I'm afraid not.'

'Then why are you here?' Sam found a pair of kitchen tongs, and began fishing the cooking instructions out of the gravy.

'Oh, that's nice,' said Al. 'I just thought you might like some moral support.'

'I'd rather have a caterer. What's going on? Why isn't Kylie here yet?'

'Well, I just happen to know that she went upstairs to check on Pagan, and when she saw how happy he was she decided to thank Eduardo in the best way she knew how. Don't worry, I didn't stay and watch - even though that darn cat was asleep. Oh, I can just imagine sliding down those spaghetti straps and -'

'Al, please, I am trying not to burn this gravy!'

'It looks great, Sam,' said Al, peering into the pan.

'Really?' said Sam. 'I can hear Carl getting up - do you think it's safe to go and warn him that Kylie'll be here for dinner?'

'Well, that depends. Are you just talking about the food being safe?'

'Yes.'

'Turn the heat on the gravy down one. And don't be more than five minutes.'

'It doesn't take five minutes to tell someone we have a dinner guest.'

'No,' said Al, as Sam threw down his wooden spoon and ran out into the hallway, 'but it can take twice that long to deal with their reaction.'

He pushed a button on his handlink and placed himself at the top of the stairs, where Sam dashed through his image and into Carl and Beth's bedroom.

'Honey,' he said, plastering on a smile. 'We're going to have a guest for dinner tonight, 'kay?'

'Who is it?' asked Carl.

'A friend of Eduardo's. Rather a special friend, actually.'

'You mean a girlfriend?'

'That's right.'

'And the rest, Sam,' said Al. 'You'll have to prepare him for seeing Kylie.'

'All right,' said Sam. 'Now, Carl… don't freak out, okay?'

Carl stopped in the middle of buttoning his shirt and frowned at Sam. 'Then don't give me a reason to freak out.'

'Okay, here goes. Eduardo's girlfriend is a Ghostbuster.'

'WHAT?'

Sam shrank back in alarm.

'That is the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life! When the hell did he meet her?'

'Sunday.'

'Sunday! He met her on _Sunday_! He's only done this to annoy me!'

'Of course he hasn't,' said Sam. 'I think he really likes this girl, and I want you to make her feel welcome in our home.'

'She's _not_ welcome in my home.'

'Yes she is. I invited her, and that's why I'm cooking a delicious meal for us all to enjoy together. At least, I hope it'll be delicious. I'd better go check on the gravy.'

On his way back to the kitchen, Sam met Kevin in the hallway.

'What was Dad yelling about this time?' Kevin asked.

'He's upset about your Uncle Eduardo being involved with a Ghostbuster,' said Sam. 'I'm sure he'll come around once he gets to know her, and realises that being a Ghostbuster isn't all she is. Kevin, I hope you'll never judge anyone just by the job they do, any more than you'd judge them by where they were born, or the colour of their skin, or whether they're male or female, or anything other than who they are on the inside.'

'Um,' said Kevin. 'Okay.'

'Sam!' Al called from the kitchen. 'I think you need to turn the heat down on the chicken, and the gravy needs a good stir!'

'Oh no!' said Sam, running into the kitchen just as the doorbell rang. 'Kevin, get that for me, will you?'

'Just relax, Sam,' said Al. 'I hope you haven't forgotten Kevin's going to disappear tonight.'

'Of course I haven't forgotten that, Al! You know, if Ziggy could come up with _something_ to - hi! Where's Eduardo?'

'He's right behind me,' said Kylie, looking over her shoulder to make sure. 'He's pretty nervous about tonight. He even tried to persuade me to let him pretend I had to work this evening.'

'You'll wish you _had_ let me,' said Eduardo. 'You'll wish Carlos was just a regular, run-of-the-mill demon.'

'I guess the Ghostbusters have our number, don't they?' said Sam. 'Do they know you're here, Kylie?'

'I might have mentioned it to Janine,' said Kylie.

'You're right, Sam - that must be why they call,' said Al.

Kevin came into the kitchen then, saying, 'Would you like something to drink, Kylie? We got tea, coffee, water, milk, various sodas…'

'Good boy, Kevin,' said Sam. 'Sorry, Kylie - I'm just busy freaking out about the cooking.'

'It smells wonderful, Beth,' said Kylie. 'I'll have a soda, thanks, Kevin.'

'What kind?'

'What do you have?'

Kylie went with Kevin to look in the fridge. Sam expected Al to ogle her backside as she bent over, but he didn't, instead concentrating on his handlink.

'Sam,' he said. 'The Ghostbusters are going to have a really big job two streets down from here. That must be why they call Kylie.'

'You couldn't have checked that before?' Sam said irritably.

'Sorry, Mom,' said Kevin. 'I didn't know I was supposed to memorise the contents of the fridge for guests.'

'You weren't,' said Sam. 'Sorry, Kevin. Look, Eduardo, why don't you take Kylie to the living room to enjoy her soda? Kevin, you can set the table for me, please. I'll call everyone when dinner's ready.'

'Okay,' Eduardo and Kevin said together.

'Now,' Sam said to Al, once they were alone. 'We can be pretty sure Kylie's going to be called to this big ghostbusting job two streets down, but what does that have to do with Kevin?'

'Maybe the ghost gets him,' said Al.

'Oh, Al, come on! "Maybe the ghost gets him"!'

'What?' said Al. 'It could happen. It's not like -'

'That's the most pathetic thing -'

'- there haven't been demons and stuff -'

'- you've said this whole leap!'

'- on this leap.'

' "Maybe the ghost gets him"…'

'Will you keep an open mind, Sam?'

'The only thing I need to keep,' said Sam, as he began to transfer the food onto plates, 'is an eye on Kevin.'

'And another one on Carl, to make sure he behaves himself.'

'Sure. I really hope tonight's going to be it for this leap, Al. It's been almost a week now. How's Beth doing in the waiting room?'

'Oh, fine,' said Al. 'She says she's enjoying the break.'

'I know how she must feel.'

'You okay, Beth?' asked Carl, as he entered the kitchen. 'I thought I heard you talking to someone.'

'What?' said Sam. 'Oh… no, just to myself. Dinner's about ready.'

'Is she here?'

'_Kylie_ is here, yes. She's in the living room with Eduardo, having a soda.'

'I didn't pay for that soda just to give it to Ghostbusters,' muttered Carl.

Sam narrowed his eyes on him. 'Carl…'

'All right, all right, I'll be nice. Damn con artist seducing her way into my house…'

.-.-.

When everyone was sitting round the dining room table, with Al standing nearby, Sam found himself struggling to fill a lot of awkward silences. They got through the main course without incident, Sam watching the clock all the time. Eight fifteen, it seemed, was a long time coming.

'So, Kevin,' Sam said, once he had served up the banoffee pie. 'How was school?'

'It was dumb,' said Kevin. 'They waste your time.'

'You're not wrong, son,' said Carl, with a sidelong glance at Eduardo. 'There's no sense going to school any longer than you have to.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'that all depends on what you want to do.'

'That is so true,' said Kylie. 'If no one went to school longer than they had to, there'd be no teachers or doctors or lawyers, or anything like that.'

'Kevin's not doing any of that crap,' said Carl. 'He wants to be a cop like me, and my father before me.'

'What do you have to study to be a Ghostbuster?' asked Kevin.

'No son of mine is becoming a Ghostbuster!' said Carl.

'I was just asking,' said Kevin.

'You don't exactly _have_ to study anything,' said Kylie. 'It's something you tend to just fall into.'

'If I had my way,' said Carl, 'the Ghostbusters would fall into jail.'

'Here we go, Sam,' Al said wearily.

'Lay off, Carlos,' said Eduardo.

'My name is Carl!' said Carl.

'_Ir al Infierno_,' said Eduardo.

'Now, let's all be polite, shall we?' said Sam, intercepting Carl's response. 'That means talking in a language everyone can understand, not impugning the profession of anyone at the table, not fighting, and not telling anyone to go to Hell.'

Carl stared at him. 'Since when do you understand Spanish?'

'Oh, well… you pick little bits up, marrying into this family.'

'You damn well shouldn't,' said Carl, glaring at Eduardo. 'If I find out any of that stuff has rubbed off on Kevin…'

'I don't understand a word, Dad, honest,' said Kevin.

Sam looked at him in surprise. 'You don't? Well, that's a shame. Being bilingual is a very valuable skill, and growing up in this family, you have the perfect opportunity to -'

'Stop right there, Beth,' said Carl. 'We talked about this, remember?'

'I'm afraid I _don__'__t_ remember,' said Sam. 'But I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up now. We have a guest, so -'

'I'm not censoring myself on _her_ account,' said Carl. 'Just what the hell does she want here, anyway? More money?' He looked at Kylie. 'Are you here because you know my family are easy targets? Because my wife is trusting, any my idiot brother thinks with his…' He glanced at Kevin. 'You-know-what.'

'What?' asked Kevin.

'Back off, Carlos,' said Eduardo.

'Oh dear Lord, the phone!' said Sam, jumping to his feet.

'I'll get it,' said Carl.

'Don't let him, Sam!' said Al.

'Carl, no!'

'I _said_ I'll get it!' said Carl, shouldering Sam out of the way, but Sam managed to duck in front of him and get to the phone first.

'Hello?' he said shrilly.

'Hi, Mrs Rivera,' said a high voice. 'It's Janine Melnitz, from the Ghostbusters. By any chance, is Kylie with you?'

'Yes,' said Sam. 'Hold on a sec. Kylie! Phone for you.'

'Thank God for that,' he heard Kylie say.

'What is this?' said Carl. As Kylie emerged from the dining room, he placed himself mere inches behind her and followed her to the phone, matching her every step. 'Who the hell is calling you here? Who did you give my number to?'

'Cut that out, Carlos!' Eduardo said from the dining room doorway.

'Here you are,' said Sam, handing Kylie the phone. 'It's Janine.'

'Thanks,' said Kylie. 'Hi, Janine… No, I've just had some banoffee pie with a lovely, firm bottom.' She shot Sam a smile. 'No, it's not a euphemism… Dear God, _yes_! I'll be right there. Do they have a weapon for me?… Oh, good, what luck.'

'The Ghostbusters are calling that tramp in _my house_!' said Carl, as though he could imagine nothing worse.

'What's going on now?' asked Kevin, appearing at Eduardo's side.

'I'm sorry, you guys, I have to go,' said Kylie, as she hung up. 'It's been lovely, but the Ghostbusters have an emergency and they want backup.'

'Cool!' said Kevin.

'Do you need a ride?' asked Sam.

'You are not taking her anywhere in my car!' said Carl.

'It's okay, Beth,' said Kylie. 'It's just a couple of streets away - that's why Janine called me. I'll walk.'

'You can't go on your own at this time,' said Eduardo. 'I'll go with you.'

'Don't insist on driving her, Sam,' said Al. 'Remember, you have to keep an eye on Kevin.'

'Thanks, Eduardo,' said Kylie. 'That's really sweet of you.'

Barely had she finished speaking before Eduardo was shepherding her out of the door, looking nothing less than relieved to be taking her to a supernatural being that was so dangerous it required more Ghostbusters than usual to deal with it.

'I don't know what's gotten into you lately, Beth,' said Carl.

'No?' said Sam. 'Are you normally _that_ bad, Carl? Because if you are, I hope I don't just sit back and let you get away with it. Where's Kevin? Kevin, where are you?'

'I'm right here, Mom,' said Kevin, and Sam saw that he was on the stairs. 'I'm going to try and see the Ghostbusters from my window.'

'You'll do no such thing!' said Carl.

'Carl, let him,' said Sam. 'What harm can it do?'

'Go and finish your banoffee pie, Kevin,' said Carl. 'We'll talk about this later, Beth. Right now I have to go to work, and I know what my first job is going to be!'

'You're going to arrest the Ghostbusters, aren't you?' said Kevin.

'Too right I am,' said Carl.

'What the hell for?' asked Sam.

'For everything I can! Fraud; disturbing the peace; carrying unlicensed weaponry…'

'Resisting arrest?' said Sam.

'If they resist arrest, then yes!' said Carl.

'I can't let you do this, Carl.'

'Are you going to stop me?'

'Carl, I am asking you nicely,' said Sam, standing between Carl and the front door. 'Please just leave the Ghostbusters alone.'

'Get out of my way, Beth.'

'What are you going to do - hit me? Is that something you'd do, Carl?'

'Of course not,' said Carl. Then he put one hand on Sam's shoulder and pushed him gently but firmly aside.

'Sam!' said Al. 'Kevin's gone.'

'_What_? I saw him go back into the dining room like Carl told him!'

'I know, but then he went into the utility room, and that has a back door.'

'Oh my God!'

Sam ran into the utility room, through the back door and round to the front of the house, all the time shouting, 'Kevin! KEVI-I-I-I-I-IN!'

'Sam, shut the hell up and get in the car,' said Al. 'Gushie, centre me on Kevin!' A pause, then, 'Well then find him, and fast!'

Sam was already in the car, and had backed it into several neighbours' trashcans, when Al's image appeared beside him.

'Gushie's trying to locate Kevin,' he said.

'What if I just drive to where the Ghostbusters are?' said Sam. 'Ziggy knows where that is, right? Kevin's probably following Eduardo and Kylie.'

'Oh yeah, sure,' said Al. 'Go straight on, and then take a right when I say.'

Sam pressed down hard on the accelerator and went screeching off into the darkening evening.

'I should have kept a closer watch on him, Al,' he said.

'Never mind should have, Sam,' said Al. 'You had Carl all in your face, yelling at you - anyone would have been distracted by that. The turning's coming up.'

'Al, I can see the demon!'

'Holy mackerel!' said Al, as an enormous fire-breathing beast came into view over the rooftops. 'I sure hope the ghost _doesn__'__t_ get Kevin. What?' He looked skyward. 'If you've found him, Gushie, then centre me on him, _now_!'

Al disappeared, then came back a moment later as Sam was screeching to a halt some yards away from the fire-breathing demon, the screaming civilians and the four Ghostbusters huddled together behind their car.

'Sam!' said Al. 'Kevin's in the back of a van!'

'_What_?'

'He's being kidnapped!'

'Oh boy,' said Sam. 'Okay, so where do I - whoa!'

One of the rear doors of the car opened, and Eduardo scrambled inside, saying, 'Beth, what the hell is going on? You passed Kylie and me at like a hundred miles an hour back there!'

'Kevin's been kidnapped.'

'_What_?'

'Drive, Sam!' said Al. 'Straight on, as fast as you can! The van's doing eighty - you have to catch it up! It's heading up Manhattan Avenue, towards Morningside Park. Take a left here - you can cut them off!'

Sam drove at a hundred miles an hour or more, following Al's directions. Fortunately traffic was slow due to the fire-breathing demon, but the further they got from it, the more cars and buses Sam had to bully out of his way. Before long he was being chased by a police car, its sirens blaring just yards behind him, but he didn't stop or slow down.

'You know those cops are going to catch up with you, right?' said Eduardo. 'Oh my God - I think it's Carlos!'

Al pressed a button, disappeared and then reappeared a moment later.

'It _is_ Carl, Sam,' he said. 'And some other guy - he's driving.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'at least Carl will go easy on me when I pull his own son out of the back of this van… if I ever find it!'

'Here it is, Sam - you're heading straight for it!'

Ziggy had directed Sam to intercept the van as it passed Morningside Park, so that the two vehicles were driving towards each other. When he was only a few yards from it, Sam jerked the steering wheel to the left and forced the van off the road, so that it crashed into the low park railings. A few pedestrians leapt aside as first the van, and then Sam in Beth's car, threatened to knock them flat. There were plenty of people around, but nobody seemed interested in trying to help. Even Carl and his companion had apparently vanished.

'Are you sure Kevin's in there?' Eduardo asked, as they climbed out of the car.

'Yes,' said Sam.

'Maybe you should have stopped it a little more safely, Sam,' said Al.

'I don't see how!' said Sam, as three unsavoury looking men climbed out of the van and began advancing towards him and Eduardo, leering at the prospect of taking on one man smaller than themselves, and one helpless looking woman.

'Where the hell is that cop car?' Eduardo said shrilly. 'Um… you'd better get behind me, Beth.'

'No, that's okay,' said Sam and, as the men came close, he at once knocked two of them out with some slick tae kwon do moves.

'Holy crap, Beth!' said Eduardo. 'Where did you learn _that_?'

'Get Kevin!' said Sam, bracing himself to deal with the third man.

Eduardo stayed where he was, torn between rescuing Kevin and seeing whether he should stick around to help Beth. The third man aimed a punch at Sam, but Sam deflected it, then grabbed both the man's arms and pinned them behind his back.

'Give it to him, Sam!' said Al.

'How do you like that, huh?' said Sam. 'You sick bastard!'

He forced the man towards the park railings, grabbed a handful of his hair and pushed him forwards, very nearly impaling his right eye on a blunt spike.

'Get off me, you crazy broad!' the guy shouted.

'Scared, are you?' said Sam. 'How do you think my son feels? Where the hell do you get off kidnapping defenceless children?'

'Beth,' said Eduardo, 'what the hell…?'

'Get Kevin!'

'Oh!'

He heard Eduardo running a short distance, struggling to force open the rear doors of the van, managing it and finally, presumably, tearing duct tape away from Kevin's mouth and hands.

'Uncle Eduardo!' said Kevin. 'I thought I'd never see you again! Jesus Christ, Mom, what happened to _you_?'

'Wasn't the last kid of yours who got randomly driven off in a van called Kevin?' asked Al.

'Yeah, he was,' said Sam. 'Are those other two still unconscious?'

'Yes. Where the hell did that cop car go? Gushie, centre me on Carl!'

'Why did they kidnap me, anyway?' asked Kevin, wide-eyed and clinging onto Eduardo. Sam sensed that he really wanted his mother, but didn't like to disturb her in the middle of holding down a man twice her size.

'God knows,' said Sam. 'Maybe they're white slave traders or something.'

'Oh,' said Kevin. 'Well, if they are, I guess Dad'll be sort of happy they took me.'

Sam frowned at him over his shoulder. 'That's not funny, Kevin.'

'It is _kinda_ funny, Beth,' Eduardo said, laughing and hugging Kevin tightly. 'Are you okay, man?'

'I'm fine, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin.

'Sam!' said Al, reappearing. 'Carl's partner drove underneath an enormous truck and jammed the car there, but he and Carl got out and they're on their way.'

'Kevin,' said Sam. 'You must never, ever run off like that again! It's dangerous!'

'Yeah, I know,' said Kevin, eyeing the large man who was apparently struggling under Beth's insubstantial weight.

'Look, Sam, here come Carl and the putz who crashed the car,' said Al.

Carl and a smaller, rather anxious looking police officer were running like mad towards the scene.

'Beth!' exclaimed Carl. 'What the hell happened? How are you restraining that guy? Give him to me! Kevin, what are you doing here?'

'I got kidnapped,' said Kevin.

'_What_? This is all _your_ fault, isn't it?' Carl said, simultaneously glaring at Eduardo and slapping a pair of handcuffs onto the conscious kidnapper. 'Brad, don't just stand there - call for backup! I'm sorry we lost you when we were chasing you, Beth. Brad was driving the car, and he crashed it!'

'Well,' said Sam, as Kevin flew into his arms, 'you're here now.'

'What the hell happened?' asked Carl.

'I sneaked out,' said Kevin. 'I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't want you to arrest the Ghostbusters, so I went to warn them. You're not still going to arrest them, are you?'

'Maybe,' said Carl, staring over Sam's head as the Ghostbusters' car screeched into view. 'They're here! Why are they here?'

The car stopped and Kylie tumbled out of it, rushing to embrace Eduardo.

'I thought that was you!' she said. 'What the hell happened?'

'Kevin got kidnapped,' said Eduardo.

'Oh my God!' Kylie looked at Kevin. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' said Kevin.

'Good.' Kylie turned back to Eduardo. 'Are _you_ okay? You're not… you know… sore, or anything?'

'No, I'm, oh… well, maybe a little,' Eduardo said, as Kylie began seeking out imaginary wounds and kissing them better.

'Oh my God - it's the _real_ Ghostbusters!' Kevin said as Egon Spengler, Ray Stantz, Peter Venkman and Winston Zeddemore piled out of the car, all looking distinctly puzzled. 'Kylie, please introduce me!'

'It looks like Kylie's busy, kid,' said Winston. 'Why don't you introduce yourself?'

'Now, wait a minute!' said Carl.

Sam frowned at him. 'Carl, for God's sake, let him!'

'Oh, all right,' said Carl. 'Where the hell is that backup?'

'You did it, Sam,' said Al, consulting his handlink, as Kevin shot out of Sam's arms and ran towards the four Ghostbusters. 'Eduardo finishes college, and now he teaches high school Spanish - that's pretty neat.' He looked at Eduardo and Kylie. 'What do you think - have they entered stage three yet?'

'That looks more like stage two to me,' said Sam, trying not to look at the spectacle Eduardo and Kylie were making. 'What happens - are they still together?'

'Yes. They get married in four years, and - get this, Sam - their first child is due any day now. Beth still becomes a nanny… oh, but this is interesting. Kevin isn't an auxiliary cop in our time. He's in college, majoring in psychology, and he spends his summers working as a camp counsellor. That's pretty neat too.'

'It sure is,' said Sam. 'So everyone's happy?'

'On paper, yes.'

'Then why haven't I leaped?'

'Well, let's see,' said Al, tapping away at his handlink.

A short distance away from them, Carl and Brad were bundling the three kidnappers into a newly arrived police car, while Kevin was still talking animatedly to the Ghostbusters.

'It's really not all that glamorous, Kevin,' Egon was saying. 'I promise you, it's purely scientific. There's a lot of lab work involved.'

'There's a lot of paperwork too,' said Ray.

'Don't listen to them, kid,' said Peter. 'Being a Ghostbuster is _totally_ glamorous. So… did your mom really knock those guys out?'

'Yep,' said Kevin, beaming.

'Wow,' said Peter. 'What a woman. And… that's your uncle?'

'Aha,' said Kevin, not sounding quite so proud of this admission.

'Do you happen to know what he did to make Kylie…? You know what? Never mind.'

'Ah, here we go,' said Al. 'Ziggy says that before you leap, you have to make up with Carl.'

Sam stared at him. 'Make up with Carl?'

'Well, you two have been fighting an awful lot lately.'

'That's because I'm not really his wife and I don't even like him! Why can't Beth make up with him when she gets back?'

'Because it's not her who had the problems with him. Go on, Sam.' Al jerked his head towards Carl, who was standing a little way away and watching the backup police car drive into the night. 'Get over there and sex him up.'

'Al!'

'Beth,' said Carl, approaching Sam and wearing a puppy-dog expression. 'Look, I just want to say… I'm really sorry about how I've been acting these past few days. You're right. I should listen to you more, and not keep flying off the handle.'

'What about Eduardo?' asked Sam.

'Him?' Carl glared in Eduardo's direction. 'I'm about ready to arrest him for public indecency!'

'I got arrested for public indecency once,' said Al. 'Or was it twice? Maybe three times…'

'Thank you for apologising, Carl,' said Sam. 'I'm really glad to hear you say those things. And I'm sorry too, about getting mad at you, and not… I… I really did have a lot of headaches.'

'Oh, Beth,' said Carl. 'You don't have to apologise. I love you, honey.'

Sam smiled weakly, and said, 'Beth Rivera loves you too, Carl.'

'Why are you talking about yourself in third person?'

'I…'

'Oh, never mind.'

Sam screwed up his face and tried not to back away as Carl leaned in for a kiss. In the moment before their lips met, Sam was engulfed in a blue light visible only to Al. At that same moment, a blip on the PKE meter belted at Kylie's waist caused her to stop what she was doing.

'You okay?' Eduardo asked.

'Yeah,' said Kylie. 'I just got a little electric buzz.'

'Only a little one?'

'No, of course not,' Kylie said, inclining her head as Eduardo moved to kiss her neck. 'I mean, the little one was from something else. I have a feeling Beth will go back to normal now, whatever that is.'

'Thank God for that,' Eduardo said, coming up for air. 'Can we get out of here now?'

'Sure thing, babe.'

They walked down the street with their arms around each other, leaving the real Beth to stare at the bizarre scene around her - the retreating couple, one of whom she knew very well; the crashed van; the skid marks leading to her own car by the park railings; Kevin talking to the Ghostbusters; Carl embracing her while Brad stood awkwardly by - and try to fill in the gaps.

FIN


End file.
